...where distraction is the main attraction.

Monday, January 29, 2024

The Rum Dummy drinks Clarendon 37 year old 1984 Thompson Brothers

After being kicked off this site for trying to be funny and not being funny, I'm back!!!

And there's a good reason too. Kravitz found out that he wasn't very funny either. Last month, a woman left him because he thought he was sooooooo hilarious. Yes, she ditched him for it. He thought he got jokes, but instead he got dumped. It's true! [Ed. note: Dude.]

Also he has a lot of rum samples and, as you can tell, the guy can barely deliver his scotch reviews on time. So I figured I'd grab a 37 year old rum before I get kicked off this site again.

What is the difference between a Clarendon, a Clairin, and a Claritin? I don't know, I am the wrong person to ask. And if I came up with an actual punchline, I'd be sacked again.

Clarendon 37 year old 1984 Thompson Brothers for Auld Alliance, 62%abv

Hot stuff. I think it was aged for 34 years in Jamaica and three years in Scott Land. The Thompsons usually do whisky things, so I don't know where they got a rum cask from. Probably Jamaica.

Nose - Yummy. Milk chocolate, warm toffee, lots of vanilla extract. But there's also something good weird going on behind the pretty stuff. There are rotting black walnuts, olives, root beer, and chicory. And no, I did not add water. Because.

Palate - Mint leaves and black licorice rubbed in the dirt. Lemons. Something milky. It's not what I thought it was going to taste like. It also has a Clement (yes, the Rum Dummy drinks other rums and doesn't understand them either) herbal thing going on. It's very salty and has a kind of bitterness that I've never tasted before. I'd like to add that it doesn't burn like 62%abv. If everything this strong drank this easily I'd already be dead and Kravitz would be calling me The Dumb Rummy.

Finish - It's like licking stones. And there's that weird bitterness, which I kinda like. Burnt coffee and burnt grapefruit?

Yay old rum! But I'm very confused by the process that takes booze from one former brutalized British property, ages it some more in a current brutalized British property, only to sell it in another former brutalized British property. No wonder this liquor is so bitter.

Uh oh. I think that was a joke. Will Diving for Pearls allow me back? Gosh I hope so, because he has Uitvlugt. Uitvlugt! Funny, right? How about Uitvlugt bottled by Murray McDavid?