...where distraction is the main attraction.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Way Too Many Westlands + a Movie, Part 6

I'm ending this series with a horrible film.

New York Ripper (1982, Italy)


Eleven years after A Lizard in a Woman's Skin, Lucio Fulci vomited out the putrescent New York Ripper. Indeed Ripper doesn't even seem to have been directed or produced, rather it was mindlessly ejected — no, not ejaculated, as that verb has some positive connotations — from bored, hateful bodies. The cinematography is flat, the writing wretched, and the editing clumsy. Barely a thought seems to have gone into the "mystery", or how anything actually works within New York City, psychopaths, or humans in general. The film slumps around between extended scenes of the humiliation, torture, and graphic slaughter of women. To top it all off, Ripper commits the greatest sin of any exploitation film: It's boring. At least Fulci's The Beyond, Don't Torture a Duckling, and especially Zombi offer creativity, imagination, and craptacular entertainment. Even with its killer that tries to talk like a duck, New York Ripper has not a moment of good WTF-isms, rather it's "Why TF am I wasting my life with this" from beginning to end.

Verdict - quack quack quack flush this

Now, the whiskies.

Both of these are older than yesterday's immature 2 year olds, and one of them has special barley!

Westland 3 year old 2012, cask 34 for Whole Foods

Distillery: Westland
Region: Seattle, Washington
Age: 39 Months
Mashbill: The five-malt mix
Yeast: Belgian Saison Brewer’s Yeast
Fermentation: 144 hours
Maturation: New American Oak
Release: November 2015
Outturn: 174 bottles
Alcohol by volume: 55.5%


A bit dessert-like on the nose. There's a mix of apple, cinnamon, clove, and yeast up front, with bourbony cherry syrup in the back. This might have more oak-driven baking spices in the palate than any other members of this cluster. Toffee and white chocolate sit just underneath the spice, and coffee awaits in the distance. It finishes with citrus, white chocolate, nutmeg, and coffee.

DILUTED to 46%abv, or 1¼ tsp of water per 30mL whisky

The nose is an apple-cinnamon pastry stuffed with golden raisins. The palate and finish are sweeter now, with a cloud of cloves, cassia, and nutmeg.


At first, cask 34 reads like a cross between Westland's standard American Oak expression and a Buffalo Trace Distillery bourbon, but then it goes its own way, which is mostly the cask's way. I like all the baking spices and it's never too tannic, but it doesn't do much else to separate itself from the pack of B-minus-grade Westland casks.

Rating - 82

Westland 4 year old 2015, Pilsen cask 2508

Distillery: Westland
Region: Seattle, Washington
Age: 50 Months
Mashbill: Pilsen barley, sourced from Germany
Yeast: Belgian Saison Brewer’s Yeast
Fermentation: 144 hours
Maturation: ex-Heaven Hill bourbon cask
Release: July 2019
Outturn: 225 bottles
Alcohol by volume: 59.8%


Lots of barley in the nose, with raw pecans in the middle, and florals and orange peel in the background. The crisp palate is also barley-driven, with baker's yeast, lime, and a cinnamon hint filling out the rest. It finishes bready and lightly sweet, with a hint of tart lime.


Somehow the nose gets even nuder, presenting as a clean mix of barley and Oleo Saccharum (no that's not a Satanic prayer, look it up). The palate has, in order, barley, lime, yeast, and toasted whole wheat bread. It finishes with lime and bread.


I like this Westland variation, and wish I knew it had existed earlier! Between the German beer barley varieties and the refill cask, the distillery succeeds in their mission to allow "the grain notes space to express themselves alongside the gentle influence of a used cask". It's my second favorite whiskey of the Westland Dozen, and a nice way to end this series. If I'm ever in the market for an actual bottle of Westland, I'll keep my eyes open for a Pilsen release, or a Washington Pale Malt with a pale color. Otherwise, I'm Westlanded out.

Rating - 87

Okay everyone. Back to single malt Scotchitude next week. Have a good weekend and don't watch New York Ripper!