...where distraction is the main attraction.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Randy Brandy drinks 3 Copper & Kings brandies

What a great Friday to be Randy Brandy in this glorious glorious country. Kravitz interrupted me while I was taking a perfectly good crap to tell me this post was due today. So I'm writing this from the toilet. I was also instructed to not make fun of Sku this time.

Look, everyone wants to be loved. Physically. And no one in the whiskey community, save Allison Asterisk of Brenne, has more lusty groupies than Sku. Though it's become a near toss-up since Allison got engaged. Kravitz tracks this stuff. And by "stuff" I mean Allison's Instagram.

Sku's writing style, before he was K&L'ed, was the key to his popularity. He never asked anyone to read much. He would unburden himself of a one sentence post and he got 4000 clicks. Kravitz writes Cloud Atlas and he gets 4 views including his 4-year-old daughter who accidentally clicked the bookmark when playing with her father's phone. Then she somehow found his Incognito Tab and she's been in therapy ever since.

The next day the 4-year-old got into an argument with her preschool teachers, insisting that a horse can ride a man. They thought she had it backwards. No, but someone definitely had it backwards. If you know what I mean. Look, I'd explain it to you but I'm supposed to be reviewing, uh, what I am reviewing? What is this, bourbon?

No, it's American brandy, allegedly. I did some research. And by research I mean I read some whiskey blogs, which was horrifying, how do you people do it?

Copper & Kings was created by the South African American (gotta watch the hyphens there) Heron family who create with drinks that they then sell to conglomerates. Gosh, I wonder what the fate of Copper & Kings is going to be. That's not a dig. That's some good American entrepreneurship. Howzit, Herons? I'm glad the Herons are making brandy, not bourbon. I hope their brandy doesn't taste like bourbon.

(sample from Florin, a man who shares)

Copper & Kings American Brandy, 45%abv

Nose - Apples and bourbon. Um. Sawdust, vanilla, corn syrup and white grape juice. Mint extract, cardamom. Much better now.
Palate - Not bourbon. More like a spicy sweet young cognac. Ginger, apples, horseradish, vanilla. Creamy. Gains taffy and peach candy notes after a while.
Finish - Sweet stuff. Vanilla, bubblegum, taffy.

I was asked by Kravs to add water to these next two because that is what is done. It's a good thing I always bring an eyedropper and beaker of spring water to the can with me.

(another sample from Florin, clearly a socialist)

Copper & Kings Cr&ftwerk Brandy finished in Oskar Blues Imperial IPA barrels, 55.5%abv

Nose w/o water - Grapefruit, anise, rubber, horseradish. Mint and hops. Pine sap.
Nose with water - Mint, pineapple, orange peel, pine sap, less grapefruit

Palate w/o water - Ginger, grapefruit, hops. Also known as IPA. But very sweet. Vanilla, pepper, and mint gum.
Palate with water - Sweet IPA and pine sap, apple cider, brown sugar.

Finish w/o water - Heat, lime juice and mint gum, vanilla. Bitter.
Finish with water - Much sweeter. Ginger and brown sugar.

(sample from Sku)
I don't understand art

Copper & Kings Butchertown Brandy, 62%abv

Nose w/o water - Grapes, blackberries, pears, potpourri, vanilla, cream soda. No burn.
Nose with water - Orange sherbet, cream soda, pine sap, more vanilla.

Palate w/o water - Here's the burn. Hot and sweet. Honey and pineapple juice. Tart cherries, ginger and cream soda.
Palate with water - Peppercorns, oranges, vanilla, tart lemons, very tannic.

Finish w/o water - Tart cherries and caramel, heat, oak spice and tannins, raisins.
Finish with water - Tart lemons, ginger, vanilla, mint leaves.

It's not bourbon. Good.

Do I need to write more?

Okay, I like the American Brandy the best. It's the most brandy of the three brandies. It's oaky, but I expected worse. It's straightforward. It has curves and edges. Wow, that was poetic and unnecessary and I repeat myself. I. Might. Buy. A. Bottle?

There's a lot of IPA in the Cr&ftwerk, which will appeal to IPA drinkers. It is difficult to find the brandy part. It does seem like a new thing, though. And I don't hate new things, unlike a certain blogger whose name is K*****z.

Butchertown is big. America Big. It tastes like oak and fire. It smelles good, but I wanted more of the American Brandy every time I drank Butchertown. Good name though.

Adding water did nothing useful. Shocker. I need to end this post now because my legs are numb and the seat has embedded itself into my ass. So I'm going to give these grades even less thought than usual.

Copper & Kings American Brandy - B
Copper & Kings Cr&ftwerk IPA - C+/B-
Copper & Kings Butchertown Brandy - C+/B-