...where distraction is the main attraction.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Super Bowl Odds

So there's this thing on TV this Sunday, you may have heard of it.  It's a football game between a New Jersey team named after a pituitary problem versus a Massachusetts team full of loyalist nationalists.

My wife is rooting for the pituitary problems.  I don't know why.  I'm rooting for the partially-dressed fully-tanned people holding pom-poms and wearing white boots doing hip thrusts in the name of the team that pays them.

Second-string punters, every last one of them.
Oh wait, the pituitary problems don't have any leaders of gaiety.  So I cannot root for them.

The Vegas Odds for this battle opened as such:

NJ Pituitary Problems 55.5
MA Loyalist Nationalists -3.5

It has since dropped to:

NJ Pituitary Problems 54.5
MA Loyalist Nationalists -2.5

Surprisingly close.  Were I of the betting sort (and in LV right now), I'd put some serious money on the under.  The New Jerseys have a dynamite defense and the Massachusettses will probably be missing one of their top pass catchers.

Who am I to weigh in on odds?

Just some guy.


Just some guy who picked every single AFC playoff game correctly and is now VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HAVING TEMPTED FATE.

Just some guy who picked every single AFC playoff game correctly and is now very concerned about having tempted fate, but shouldn't be worried because he didn't put any actual money on it and also that guy missed out on some serious whisky money from the winnings he could have had that in turn would have offset any concerns about fate.

So instead, here are the odds I'm setting about the televised game:

Commercials - Over/under on nut shots - 4.5
Commercials - Over/under on someone getting hit in the face - 6.5
Commercials - Over/under on violence to animals, children, or woman played as comedy - 2.5
Play-by-Play - O/U on mentions of Broncos' quarterback who is not playing in the Super Bowl - 3.5
Play-by-Play - O/U on mentions of Colts' quarterback who is not playing in the Super Bowl - 7.5
Play-by-Play - O/U on mentions of the Pro Bowl - 0.5

I'll take the Over, Over, Over, Over, Over, Under.

If I make it all the way through the game, I'll report back on my winnings.  If not, then I'll force myself do an extra Single Malt Report as an apology.

I don't know what this is, but I approve.
Though Eli does not.