...where distraction is the main attraction.

Sunday, June 12, 2022

The "I'm Very Sorry" sample and the resulting cocktail

Within a recent parcel from the gentleman who runs the My Annoying Opinions website, I found a mystery sample labelled, "I'm Very Sorry".

I accept his apology and now I'm going drink the bottle's contents. As a disclaimer, I'm pretty danged certain I know what this "whiskey" is thanks to a hint Mr. Opinions provided. More on that product in a moment.

All that follows was typed live (with some edits)......


Nose - Allspice, cardamom, ginger beer, a hint of yellow nectarine and LOTS of fresh cilantro. It's starting to go Full Hippie with notes of holy basil, ashwagandha and a dash of manure.

Palate - Um......It is strongly flavored. This is going to stain my glass and my taste buds. Okay, so there be lots of holy basil, cassia, pepper, mustard seed and tree bark here. Fresh ginger, lots of bitterness, hints of cocoa, white rum and juniper. It's like some sort of zany gin.

Finish - Bitter (wormwoodish?). Cilantro, holy basil, fresh ginger and white JM Rhum by turns.

This unique, fragrant, but not entirely palatable creation is most likely Masala Chai Flavored Whiskey from St. Paul's Studio Distilling. Per the official site, "The Masala Chai Whiskey begins with a rye malt whiskey base to which we add a curated mix of Assam tea and whole spices. The blend is distilled and then aged in oak barrels."

As much as I enjoy rye and Assam and whole spices, I don't understand why they all had to meet this way. I never thought anything could fully obliterate rye notes, but alas this collection of "whole spices" have done so. The bitterness reads like extremely over-steeped black tea, so perhaps that's where the Assam lives.

There's something very entertaining about the nose's herbal bundle. And there must be some gin cocktail that this could electrify. But I'm electing to create a whiskey-based cocktail. In honor of the caucasians who leaned on masala chai for their product, I shall also take part in some cultural appropriation for the cocktail's name. I present...

a bazaar Old-Fashioned

The Ingredients:
1.5 oz of Masala Chai Flavored Whiskey
2 tsp of Demerara simple syrup
3 dashes of Angostura orange bitters
5 dashes of Strongwater Golden cocktail bitters
¼ of an orange peel
Ice cubes

The Process:
Muddle the peel, syrup and bitterses together at the bottom of a hefty tumbler. Stir in the flavored whiskey. Give it 5-10 minutes to mingle, then add plenty of ice cubes.

The Why:
I adore Strongwater's Golden bitters and thought its generous aromatics would mingle well with those of the whiskey. There's a good batch of Demerara syrup in my fridge, and it ups the cocktail's imperialist core. Finally, just in case the above doesn't work, I'm orange-ing the shit out of this.

The Results:

Jeezus Franciscan Cripes this is terrible. Every element was a mistake. The herbs and spices overwhelm everything (even the orange-ing!) more, and now it's so awfully cloying that I just powered down the quarter-naked orange just to introduce something else to my mouth. The "whiskey" was better neat.

I'm very sorry about this cocktail. Happy Sunday!

Availability - around the Twin Cities and the official online store
Pricing - $24.99 for a 375mL
Rating - 66 (maybe? I don't know.)