...where distraction is the main attraction.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Tilted Kilt Rant

This commercial has been playing non-stop on every sports channel.  At first it was once-a-commercial-break.  Then it started showing up twice at each break, which is annoying no matter how good the ad is.  Now they're running it twice in a row, back-to-back, and no one has fixed it all week.

If you're watching an NBA Conference Final game, then you'll see it 16-20 times.  Switch over to ESPN for 30 minutes of SportsCenter and you'll catch the ad six more times.  It's getting to the point that I'm starting to feel sorry for each of these girls, like I would for the pretty stripper at the club near the railroad tracks.

And the pub restaurant advertised is lamentable.  Yes, I've been there.  Tried two different locations.  The franchise dropped further in my esteem with each visit.

First the commercial, for those of you who haven't been exposed to it yet.

Some brief thoughts.
  • Clearly these men were never breastfed

  • The kilt is Scottish (Highlands, specifically)

  • The accent at the end is Irish

  • The Dropkick Murphys song is Irish-American

So, does Tilted Kilt even know what their theme is?

  • Per their website, the Tilted Kilt is a "a modern American, Irish, Scottish and English sports pub".

  • Because those things are so interchangeable to children.

  • Just to clarify for the Tilted Kilt, those are completely different cultures, and NONE of them take kindly to people confusing their beverages, let alone their cultures since they've, you know, gone to war against each other on multiple occasions.

  • Also per their website, "The Tilted Kilt concept originated in 2003, not in Ireland, not in Scotland, not even in England. Believe it or not, the Tilted Kilt actually came to life in America’s own city of sin, Las Vegas."

  • You don't say.

You know, why don't I go ahead with my own bar idea.  It's Canadian-Mexican-Nebraskan.  Those places are all around the same general location.  I'll call it the Maple Tequila Cow.  Its logo will have a sombrero-and-bandolero-wearing brown heifer with syrup pouring out of its HUGE udders.


You can come on down to the Tilted Kilt where you can get a pint of the same beers you can get at any non-American/Irish/Scottish/English bar and you can ogle knockers and knees......which you can do at Hooters or a half-dozen other start-up breastaurants.  At least Hooters had the honesty to name their establishment after the main attraction.  They're not pushing Ignorant Epcot Center.

Had the Twisted Kilt's whisk(e)y offerings been halfway decent, all my complaints would be forgiven.  But the selection is sad (yeah, congrats on the Dewar's and Jameson's).  The Americans, Irish, Scottish, and English would all be ashamed of this establishment.  Okay, maybe not the Americans.

Alright, I'm out.  If you're looking for me I'll be at Twin Peaks or Show Me's.