...where distraction is the main attraction.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Bad Blend: 100 Pipers, bottled 1989

My first review of this particular fluid:

I wisely (or not) saved a two-ounce sample of this blended scotch shitsky for further study.

Brand: 100 Pipers
Ownership at the time: Joseph E. Seagram & Sons
Current ownership: Pernod Ricard
Type: Scotch Blended Whisky
Age: minimum 3 years
Alcohol by Volume: 40%
Bottled: 1989

Its color is almost as light as water. The nose is approachable. Apples, cinnamon, caramel, plastic, brussels sprouts, nail polish remover. And then *wffff* gone in 10 minutes. Pretty much a bottom shelf dusty scotch nose. That palate, though. Really really bitter. And not herbal bitter or woody bitter. Chemical bitter. I've never tasted rust, but this probably tastes like rust. White vinegar, coconut, aspartame, urine (not that I....). Chemicals. Cleaning chemicals. Ammonia! The finish somehow worsens. Bitter, bitter, bitter. Acidic. Strange acrid burn. Ammonia.

Pro: It doesn't smell like it tastes.

Con: Between the ages of eight to seventeen, I cleaned my bathroom with ammonia. I know that smell. The hairsbreadth of difference between what ammonia smells like and what this whisky tastes like is terrifying.

Pro: Give it a half dozen shakes of Angostura bitters and it's salvageable in a highball.

Con: The burning sensation it leaves behind is not normal.

Moral of the story: If you see a dusty bottle of 100 Pipers on the shelf, leave it, my dear. Go live your life in peace.

Availability - It's around, but don't look too hard
Pricing - found my 375mL bottle for $8.99
Rating - 52 (received a few bonus points for the highball)