Into the Sun

Heading to an undisclosed location for the next three days.  Will report any interesting findings upon my return...

NOT Single Malt Report: Hankey Bannister Original Blended Scotch Whisky

This is a hankie

(source)

This is a bannister

(source)

This is Hankey Bannister

I hope that cleared everything up.  End of report.

...

...

Or not.

...

Brand: Hankey Bannister

Ownership: Inver House

Content: 30% malt whisky: 12 to 15 malts including Balblair, Balmenach, Knockdhu (a.k.a. anCnoc), Pulteney, and Speyburn

Type: Scotch Blended Whiskey

Age: (grain) 3 years; (malt) 4-5 years

Alcohol by Volume: 40%
Bottle Code: L20 05 11

The history for Hankey Bannister is a little blurry.  Their official website doesn't actually name the founders, Beaumont Hankey and Hugh Bannister, in their history pages (only showing their first initials in the bottom right corner of the page).  Inver House (their owners) state this on their site:

In 1757 society figures and suppliers of fine wines and spirits Beaumont Hankey and Hugh Bannister were inspired to create a superior Blended whisky for Their illustrious clientèle, among them The Prince Regent, William IV and George V. So they hand-selected fine and rare scotch whiskies for quality and crafted them with care to create the smooth, light and perfectly balanced renowned in society for over 250 years.

The thing is, blends weren't sold until 1860.  Dominic Roskrow's 1001 Whiskies You Must Taste Before You Die (yes, I bought it) notes that the first known reference to Hankey Bannister blended scotch was in 1882.  It also mentions about the two supposed founders, "The two gentlemen are strangely anonymous, and little is known of their lives." (373)

Ultimately, the company did exist and the whisky currently exists (I drank it), but its origin and founders may be debatable.

Currently their range also includes a 12yr, 21yr, and a 40yr.  The 40yr contains whisky from closed distilleries and won the World's Best Blended Whisky at the WWAs in both 2008 & 2009, so apparently it's scrumptious.  It also costs $600.

That's why I'm a-tastin' the cheap youngin' of the range.

The "Original" is made of about 30% malt, the rest is grain.  Most of the distilleries listed above are superb, though I'm betting that Balmenach is used the most.  Balmenach distillery (owned by Inver House) cranks out two million liters a year without any official single malt bottlings, so it's all going to blends --> Hankey Bannister is Inver House's flagship blend.

I picked up a 50mL of Hankey Original without knowing any of this info.  I only knew that it's a blend that costs just under $20.

NEAT:
Color -- Middle Gold
Nose -- Sweet grains, ethyl, coconut?, cheap perfume, brown sugar, sweat
Palate -- All young grain whisky, sugary sweet, vanilla, cinnamon
Finish -- A little rough at first sip, then a bit sticky and fruity

WITH WATER:
Nose -- Grainy, grassy, vanilla
Palate -- Creamier, mild, otherwise the same as neat
Finish -- Improved but brief, sweet, vanilla

HIGHBALL:
Buttery coconut, very similar to Lauders.

This one needs several moments in the glass.  If sipped immediately after being poured, it's harsh.  But give it a few minutes and it improves to something between J&B and Lauder's.  Not much more to add about this.  It ain't terrible.  And if you can find it for under $15, then it makes for an acceptable mixing whisky.

Availability - Most liquor stores

Pricing - Good at $14-$20 (no need to pay more than 20 for this, someone has it cheaper)

Rating - 71

NOT Single Malt Report: Famous Grouse Blended Whisky

This is a grouse:

(Source)

This is Famous Grouse:

This is a grouse hugging a bottle of Famous Grouse:

Easy way to tell the difference:  In Scotland they shoot grouse.  But they sip Famous Grouse.

This is a grouse with braised cabbage:

Sorry, that was cheeky.

The red grouse is not in fact the national bird of Scotland -- that's the golden eagle -- though the Edrington Group tried to campaign for their whisky's bird during the voting in 2004.  But the red grouse is very prevalent in Scotland and very popular to bag on the hunt.  In fact the first day of the "shooting" season has been named The Glorious Twelfth (as in August 12th).

Anyway, whisky.

According to Charles MacLean's excellent Scotch Whisky: A Liquid History, The Famous Grouse blend was created by Matthew Gloag & Son Ltd around 1896 in Perth, Scotland.  Ownership and management remained in the family until the 1970s when Highland Distillers took over.  In the late 90s, a group led by Edrington purchased Highland Distillers.

Today, The Famous Grouse remains The Edrington Group's flagship brand.  It's amongst the top 10 best selling scotch blends in the world.  And it's been #1 in Scotland since 1980.

Its recipe include malts from Macallan, Highland Park, Glenrothes, and Glenturret (all Edrington properties).  Its visitor center resides at Glenturret's little distillery in Perthshire, but much of its blending occurs at Glenrothes.  They've now expanded the brand to Black Grouse (peated), Snow Grouse (blended grain), Naked Grouse (includes sherried Macallan and Highland Park), Gold Reserve (12 yr), and a pair of blended malts.

Brand: The Famous Grouse

Ownership: The Edrington Group

Distilleries: include Macallan, Highland Park, Glenrothes, and Glenturret

Type: Scotch Blended Whisky

Age: minimum 3 years

Alcohol by Volume: 40%

With so many potentially nice ingredients in The Famous Grouse, I don't know why I waited so long to try it out.  Though a full bottling of this may be in my future, I picked up a 50mL mini to give it a spin...

NEAT:
The color is a darker gold than most blends, approaching a maple syrup hue, likely due to caramel colouring.  The nose is full of oak, maybe a touch of sherry and dried fruit, vanilla bean, soil, and cinnamon.  The texture is very soft and creamy.  A decent palate with almost no cheap grain notes.  Instead there's vanilla, coconut, custard, and sugar cookies.  It finishes sweetly, molasses and caramel, much more pleasant than most blends I've tried.

Maybe this is mental shorthand, but the Grouse is remarkably similar to the Macallan 10yr Sherry Oak I'd tried in the UK.  Slightly simpler and weaker, but...

WITH WATER:
The nose becomes prune-ish, dusty, oaky, with some sulphur sneaking in.  Seems like water stirs up the sherry wood.  The palate stays sweet and creamy with vanilla and salt.  It finishes quietly with more of the vanilla and salt.

I'm going to double-down and say that it now noses like that Mac 10 Sherry.

HIGHBALL:
Keeps some of the character through the club soda and ice.  It's a little buttery, some grain whisky slips through, as well as some caramel.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Last year, I brought back a mini of the Mac 10 Sherry from the UK.  When I'd polished it off I didn't take any notes, but I was surprised at how sleepy it was for a young whisky, and how significantly less exciting it was than the 12yr.

In the UK, Famous Grouse sells for half the price of Mac 10, but it has enough similarities to make it a frugal alternative.

What I like about Famous Grouse is that it tastes less of cheap grain whisky than most sub-$20 blends I've tried.  Its malt content holds up much better.  I know "Wow, It's Okay!" won't make for a good marketing blurb, but it's a full step more enjoyable than any of the blended scotches that I've reviewed this month (up to this point).

Trader Joes has a one liter bottle of it selling for $19.99.  I'm intrigued.

Availability - Wide, though much wider in the UK

Pricing - Good at $18-$20

Rating - 74

The Flailing Writer Goes Gardening (part two)

Gardening update!

Parsley --  Rather unhappy plant.  Either it didn't like my planting job or disapproves of its place in the sun.  Or it wasn't cared for well at its previous destination.  All or most of its original foliage was dead within two weeks.  BUT!  All new healthier looking limbs have grown in since.  Perhaps its temper is improving?

Chives -- Besieged with black aphids.

I mean totally covered.

Happened within the last couple of days.  I will try the ol' soapy water spray attack tonight.

Basil -- Still sad, but not dead!

Oregano -- Healthy and under control.

Thyme -- Grew like crazy.  Started to flower.  Kristen and I lopped off the flowers.  Hopefully it hasn't gone to seed...

Cilantro -- Holy mole sauce!  It's fro'ed out!  We have to keep trimming it back.  Totally awesome.

Pepper -- New leaves are slowly sprouting all over.

Zucchini -- Like the cilantro, it has taken well to the balcony.  Tons of big beautiful leaves.  Perhaps some blossoms coming through.

Tomato Plant tips:
1.)  Keep an eye (and a finger) on the soil.  These guys get very very thirsty.  I don't think I've been watering them enough.  I'm starting them on a daily watering regimen as of today.

2.)  Put your stakes or cage in the ground BEFORE the plant starts getting big.  I did not do this.  Getting the cages in and around the plants wasn't fun.  A limb or two were lost.

3.)  Prune the suckers!

These little branches sprout up from the crotch of two normal branches.  They don't fruit, thus they suck away precious goodness that should be going to the tomatoes and blossoms.  Pluck them off with your fingers.

4.)  Also remove any and all stems near the soil.  This will help prevent bacteria and fungus from spreading up the plant.

5.)  Wash your hands afterwards.  As great as tomato plants smell, they're poisonous.

---

Who knows what awaits in Part Three???

NOT Single Malt Report: Lauder's Blended Scotch Whisky

I know that you've checked out those lower lower lower shelf whiskys when no one's looking --  Dunlivet, Scoresby, Clan MacGregor -- thinking, "How bad can whisky in a big green plastic bottle be?"  But you never manned-up because you value your life.

I, on the other hand......well, one thirsty afternoon I spotted a mini of a particular scotch blend for ONE DOLLAR AND FORTY-NINE CENTS.  Like I'm not going to buy that.

So when you look at the bottom whisky shelf and wonder, "What can I buy for $10???"...... Here's an answer.

Lauder's!

Swanky-looking UK bottle

US Ad Sheet

Brand: Lauder's

Ownership: Sazerac Company (formerly Barton Imports)

Distilleries: ???

Type: Scotch Blended Whisky

Age: 36 months

Alcohol by Volume: 40%

I've combed the Internet and searched through all of my books, but I can't say I've found much on Lauder's or Barton Imports.  Sazerac Co. bought Barton's a few years back and seems to specialize in plastic-bottled booze.  See their product lineup here.

The Lauder's bottle brags about the following:
"Highest Awards, Gold Medal, Paris 1878"
"Gold Medal, Chicago 1893"
"Gold Medal, Edinburgh 1886"

Note that's 1878, 1886, and 1893.  Most of the distilleries from that era are no longer in existence, thus the current blend recipe likely doesn't resemble the one from 134 years ago.  Also the malt content in inexpensive blends is likely at an all-time low.

BUT just because they have a completely different blend now, bottled in green plastic, selling for $9.99 doesn't necessarily mean that it's terrible.  It's just not going to win any awards in Edinburgh in 2012.

Also, this is cute:

So with a lack of accessible data, I'm going to go straight to what counts.  The sensory experience.

NEAT:
Color -- Light Gold
Nose -- Decent, moderate molasses, vanilla, caramel sauce, a hint of spearmint
Palate -- Cheap vodka kick, must have come from some seriously overused oak, a little vanilla, angel food cake
Finish -- Quiet, furry (to use a Jim Murray adjective), sweet cream, but mostly bitter

WITH WATER:
Nose -- Muted, mellow, like over-watered Glenfiddich 12, more grains jump out
Palate -- Light vanilla & caramel, not hideous
Finish -- That kick of cheap vodka again, otherwise silent

HIGHBALL:
Palate -- Buttery, some coconut

Overall, it's surprisingly harmless and better than I'd expected.  Probably better than some blends twice its price.  I'm looking at you, Cutty.  The odd Popov-Vodka-style palate characteristic and the dead finish keep it from being a surprise winner, but this is by no means crummy.  Ultimately, it's probably best for mixing since the nose is reasonable and the palate is mostly mild.  And it's $10.

Availability - Many liquor stores, often in the bad part of town

Pricing - Good at $9-$11

Rating - 70

Sunday Ramblings

From 10am to 10pm, yesterday, we painted the living room and dining room.  Two coats, looking good.  My lower back and right index finger are sore and brain is mushy.  To celebrate the finished product, I opened a bottle of Oban 14yr that I'd purchased a half year ago.  An old fave, the Oban hit the spot (though it's seriously over-colored) and I was asleep after one dram.

In the very near future I'll be putting some posts about all of the fix-its that we've done around here.  The visuals have changed for the better.

---

A beautiful piece of street art by Escif in Poland.

---

Kristen and I have been watching tons of NBA Playoff action -- much more interesting than regular season baseball, I'm sad to say.  I'm having a difficult time seeing anything but a Heat-versus-Thunder (how about that for team names?) Finals.  Those two teams will have to do themselves in; no one else has been putting up consistent offense or defense.

And the LA teams?  Not inspiring.  It would have been nice to have a Staples Center-based Western Conference Championship series, but there are other pipe-dreams that I value more.

But still, Go Clips......?

Lube This

Whiskey Dick Personal Lubricant

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

This is a violation of whiskey. And of d*ck.

Does someone out there really want their parts to taste like Jack Daniels? Or on the other side of things, why does someone want to taste that down there? And how is it possible that one's area tastes worse than Old Number 7?  Old Number 2 is more like it--

NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE GO TO A DOCTOR NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

--maybe if it was Macallan Fine Oak (GET IT?!) then there could be a reasonable--

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

I'm just bitter that someone thought of this before me.

(Many thanks to Johnnie Mundell Depp.)