The Night of 7 Mini Manhattan Cocktails

There has been less and less scotch at Columbus Scotch Night. Scotch whisky's availability and pricing have been going opposite directions in the US, and the Ohio market favors American whiskey. We also like to push the occasional Armagnac or Cognac night, and those always sell out.

Working together, my friends Mr. NO and Secret Agent Man curated a Rye Blind night last Monday. Seven half-ounce drops of different American ryes, labelled A through G, were poured for the group. Six were between $20 and $35, and a seventh originally sold for nearly $200. No one, other than Mr. NO, knew which was which. Interestingly, one of those whiskies turned out to be the favorite for 70% of the group.

I didn't take part in the tasting, and I wasn't much help in my edutainment role, because I was exhausted from the day. Also, as I've referenced in previous posts, my alcohol tolerance isn't what it used to be. So I took the samples home.

What to do with those seven samples? Manhattan Night for me! Seven mini Manhattan cocktails with identical recipes would be matched side by side. Part of me hoped that they would not all be awesome so I could spill a few out and not have a bad evening. Also I didn't want to be tempted to buy seven bottles of rye.

The recipe was simple: 2:1 ratio of rye to Carpano Antica, two dashes of Angostura bitters, two drops of Luxardo cherry syrup. These were the tools:

As a wiser, balder man than I once said, in the future: Engage.

The Manhattans

Manhattan from Rye A - Stellar balance of peppery spice, fruit and sugar. Would buy!

Rating: ★★★★ (out of five)

Manhattan from Rye B - Flat. Bland, yet harsh. It tastes plastic-bottle-whiskey cheap.

Rating: ★½

Manhattan from Rye C - Some really good heft to it. Spice leads the way. Probably the best finish.

Rating: ★★★½

Manhattan from Rye D - Well, it's different than the rest. Nuts, metal, flowers, a cherry lollipop too. Weird overall.

Rating: ★★½

Manhattan from Rye E - Clean, but light. Lowest ABV of the bunch? A little bit of spice and a slight vegetal note.

Rating: ★★½

Manhattan from Rye F - Also a bit strange as it has a strong cologne note. Balance is otherwise decent enough.

Rating: ★★½

Manhattan from Rye G - Easy drinking, right-down-the-middle balance. This would be a great Manhattan rye for a restaurant or bar.

Rating: ★★★

Okay. Ready for the reveal?

. . . . .

. . . . .

Ranked Reveal! With Notes!

#1 - Rye A - ★★★★ - Elijah Craig Rye, 47%abv, $33 in Ohio.

Yes! My bottle of this stuff has already been consumed, but I saved a sample so I owe the world a post about it. 

#2 - Rye C - ★★★½ - Kentucky Owl 11 year old ye, batch 1, 55.3%abv, was $189

This was the clear winner during the event, when people sipped their ryes neatly. I can confirm its bottle smelled good. Also, I'm somewhat relieved that it didn't place first during my tasting because its secondary market price is brutal.

#3 - Rye G - ★★★ - Rittenhouse BIB, 50%abv, $27

Thank goodness Ritt BIB still works. My last couple of bottles were subpar, but that was a half decade ago. As I said in my notes, this would be a great Manhattan rye for a restaurant or bar.

#4 - Rye D - ★★½ - Wild Turkey 101 Rye, 50.5%abv, $25

I expected this to rate higher as it's always been a go-to for my cabinet. Not sure what caused the odd notes.

#5 - Rye F - ★★½ - Old Forester Rye, 50%abv, $23

Another one I'd expected to rate higher, as I've been championing it since I first tried it. There's an unopened bottle in my cabinet. It'll be the next rye I open.

#6 - Rye E - ★★½ - Sazerac Rye, 45%abv, $30

I've never been the biggest fan of baby Saz. It works but doesn't thrill, especially for actual Sazerac cocktails. And I sorta guessed the ABV situation correctly.

#7 - Rye B - ★½ - George Dickel Rye, 45%abv, $22

The most filtered of the bunch, Dickel stood out from the group, and not in a good way, or even an acceptable way. I was probably generous in my rating. It was like I'd made my cocktail with Kessler or Fleischman's Preferred. Mr. NO said, "That Dickel is just garbage."

Final Thoughts, in list form

• This was a sticky mess. That's how you get ants.
• I dumped half of D, F, E and B, partially for safety (D, F, E), partially for bleh (B).
• Dickel Fail
• I'm looking forward to my next bottle of Elijah Craig rye, and will give Rittenhouse another chance.
• WT101 and Old Forester require further study.
• Congrats to everyone who picked up a bottle of Kentucky Owl rye, batch 1, when it first came out. I hope you drank it!
• Thank you to Mr. NO and Secret Agent Man for curating this tasting!

The "I'm Very Sorry" sample and the resulting cocktail

Within a recent parcel from the gentleman who runs the My Annoying Opinions website, I found a mystery sample labelled, "I'm Very Sorry".

I accept his apology and now I'm going drink the bottle's contents. As a disclaimer, I'm pretty danged certain I know what this "whiskey" is thanks to a hint Mr. Opinions provided. More on that product in a moment.

All that follows was typed live (with some edits)......

NEAT NOTES:

Nose - Allspice, cardamom, ginger beer, a hint of yellow nectarine and LOTS of fresh cilantro. It's starting to go Full Hippie with notes of holy basil, ashwagandha and a dash of manure.

Palate - Um......It is strongly flavored. This is going to stain my glass and my taste buds. Okay, so there be lots of holy basil, cassia, pepper, mustard seed and tree bark here. Fresh ginger, lots of bitterness, hints of cocoa, white rum and juniper. It's like some sort of zany gin.

Finish - Bitter (wormwoodish?). Cilantro, holy basil, fresh ginger and white JM Rhum by turns.

This unique, fragrant, but not entirely palatable creation is most likely Masala Chai Flavored Whiskey from St. Paul's Studio Distilling. Per the official site, "The Masala Chai Whiskey begins with a rye malt whiskey base to which we add a curated mix of Assam tea and whole spices. The blend is distilled and then aged in oak barrels."

As much as I enjoy rye and Assam and whole spices, I don't understand why they all had to meet this way. I never thought anything could fully obliterate rye notes, but alas this collection of "whole spices" have done so. The bitterness reads like extremely over-steeped black tea, so perhaps that's where the Assam lives.

There's something very entertaining about the nose's herbal bundle. And there must be some gin cocktail that this could electrify. But I'm electing to create a whiskey-based cocktail. In honor of the caucasians who leaned on masala chai for their product, I shall also take part in some cultural appropriation for the cocktail's name. I present...

NAMASTE AWAY

a bazaar Old-Fashioned

The Ingredients:

1.5 oz of Masala Chai Flavored Whiskey

2 tsp of Demerara simple syrup

3 dashes of Angostura orange bitters

5 dashes of Strongwater Golden cocktail bitters

¼ of an orange peel

Ice cubes

The Process:

Muddle the peel, syrup and bitterses together at the bottom of a hefty tumbler. Stir in the flavored whiskey. Give it 5-10 minutes to mingle, then add plenty of ice cubes.

The Why:

I adore Strongwater's Golden bitters and thought its generous aromatics would mingle well with those of the whiskey. There's a good batch of Demerara syrup in my fridge, and it ups the cocktail's imperialist core. Finally, just in case the above doesn't work, I'm orange-ing the shit out of this.

The Results:

Jeezus Franciscan Cripes this is terrible. Every element was a mistake. The herbs and spices overwhelm everything (even the orange-ing!) more, and now it's so awfully cloying that I just powered down the quarter-naked orange just to introduce something else to my mouth. The "whiskey" was better neat.

I'm very sorry about this cocktail. Happy Sunday!

Availability - around the Twin Cities and the official online store
Pricing - $24.99 for a 375mL
Rating - 66 (maybe? I don't know.)

Cocktail Recipe: Ginza in June

I've never liked whisky cocktails. No cocktail improved the drinking experience that the whisky itself offered. Sweet vermouth was one of the main culprits. Just two drops of sweet vermouth in a cocktail ruined everything. Its cloying nauseating flavor spread through the drink like a drop of ink a glass of water. (That's a metaphor I promise to overuse.) Then, one day last winter, I discovered a solution: Don't Use Cheap Sweet Vermouth.

I mean, the real solution was Carpano Antica Formula and Luxardo cherries. Since then, I've been drinking a lot of Manhattans. During some stretches, I'm drinking Manhattans more often than single malts. I finally found a use for American whiskey! 😬

Then, in October, as I was opening my current bottle of Nikka Whisky from the Barrel (NWFTB, not NKOTB), I had an idea. What if I created something along the lines of a Manhattan or Rob Roy with my beloved NWFTB? I'd go easy on the Carpano Antica in order to highlight the quality of the whisky.

And it worked on the first try. The Carpano Antica merged with the whisky, pushing the grain aside and moving the malt to the fore. Plenty of spice, not too much sweetness.

* * * * *

Because this drink is utterly bourgeois with its expensive Italian vermouth and cherries, and it includes the whisky I travelled with during both of my Japan trips, I chose to name it after the bougie-est corner of Tokyo I explored this year.

With its Rodeo Drive-inspired lineup of Valentino, Salvatore Ferragamo, Dior, Fendi and on and on and on, Ginza is the epitome of rāga, one of the three forms of suffering (or poisons or fires) in Mahayana Buddhism, stemming from the desire for wealth and the ownership of physical, sensory things.

The gorgeous weather on June 14th made that corner of Chuo feel even more posh. So, inspired by the sugary romance of "Danke Schoen" ("I recall Central Park in Fall"), I named my cocktail, Ginza in June.

* * * * *

And now, the recipe.

Ingredients:

1.5 fluid ounces (or 45mL) of Nikka Whisky from the Barrel

0.5 fluid ounces (or 15mL) of Carpano Antica Formula

2 generous dashes of Angostura bitters

2 drops of marasca syrup (from the Luxardo jar)

1 Luxardo Maraschino cherry

Instructions:

1. Fill a tall mixing glass with ice cubes (not crushed ice).

2. Pour the first four ingredients over the ice in the mixing glass.

3. Stir clockwise 24 times. (Lucky number hachi multiplied by my lucky number san)

4. Plop the cherry into the most faux-proletariat glass you own.

5. Strain the cocktail into your prole drinking glass.

And:

— Feel free to up the whisky content to 60mL, but make sure the whisky-to-vermouth ratio remains 3-to-1. Also remember that NWFTB is 51.4%abv. So be cautious.

— For more zip add more bitters.

— I don't recommend adding more than 2 drops of the syrup because it will take over the drink.

— Feel free to apply less sweet vermouth. I don't recommend adding more if you want the whisky to fly high.

— If you don't have NWFTB on hand (and who does, really) I recommend high quality blended malts that have little or no peat. Compass Box (speaking of bougie) Spice Tree may do the trick.

Kanpai, my lambs.

J.W. Dant Bottled-in-Bond versus Heaven Hill 6yo Bottled-in-Bond, 3 Ways!

Yes, just last week I reviewed Heaven Hill 6yo BIB. Then I noticed I had JW Dant BIB on the calendar for this week. What better way to get a clearer idea of a pair of bourbons than with a little Taste Off! perspective?

That was a rhetorical question.

I bought these two bottles in Kentucky last year: $9 for the JWD and $11 for the HH. (If you're a scotch drinker, you may be saying "Fucken A" right now.) I opened both at the same time and, as you can see, they're both almost gone.

A quick refresher: Both of these bourbons are distilled by Heaven Hill Distillery, and both are bottled at 50% from barrels in bonded Kentucky warehouses. The HH BIB is at least 6 years old (though there's something going on with this release possibly pointing towards bad news), while the JWD BIB is at least 4 years old. And both, as mentioned before, are hella cheap.

I tasted these bourbons side-by-side in three different formats: Old Fashioned, Manhattan and Neat.

---

Distiller: Heaven Hill
Brand: Heaven Hill
Type: Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Region: Louisville, Kentucky
Maturation: New American oak
Age: at least six years (HH), at least four years (JWD)
Mashbill: 75% Corn, 13% Rye, 12% Malted Barley
Bottle Code: F167 615 27 (HH), 173 5122 (JWD)
Alcohol by Volume: 50%

OLD FASHIONED
(orange peel, angostura bitters, half a demerara cube and a splash of water muddled together, then rocks, then 25mL of bourbon)

Heaven Hill 6 year old BIB
The whiskey merges with the orange peel and sugar very well, so that one can't tell where the whiskey ends and the other ingredients begin. A substantial bubblegum note. Overall its very even and drinky.

J.W. Dant BIB
More spirity and mouth-drying, though also plenty sweet. Needs a lot of ice melt to straighten it out. Though that also brings out a green woody bitterness.

Verdict: The Heaven Hill old-fashioned is pretty decent. The JW Dant old-fashioned is pretty bad.

---

MANHATTAN
(20mL of bourbon stirred with 10mL of Carpano Antica, angostura bitters and a drop of Luxardo cherry syrup)

Heaven Hill 6 year old BIB
Tangy and caramel-rich. It's a little woody (tee-hee) but not too much. The bourbon leaves room for the Antica to shine. Very fruity and full of cinnamon.

J.W. Dant BIB
Hot, sharp, mouth-drying, and very oaky (sawdust and bark). Ah, and there's the woody bitterness. It feels out of balance, but is still drinkable.

Verdict: This bottle of Heaven Hill BIB has been my go-to Manhattan bourbon ever since I opened it. I dig it. The Dant is a mess but will serve its purpose if that's what you have on hand, or if you're already on your third Manhattan.

---

NEAT
(If you say that these whiskies were not designed to be sipped from a Glencairn, then I would say you're right, now hush up.)

Heaven Hill 6 year old BIB
Nose - Orange peel, cinnamon, cloves and brown sugar. Fresh cut lumber. Lots of vanilla after 15 minutes of air.
Palate - Not as vibrant as the nose. Cherries, oak, sugar, vanilla and cinnamon. A little bit of heat and a little bit of hazelnuts.
Finish - Simple and straightforward. Oak char and oak spice.

J.W. Dant BIB
Nose - Sawdust, rock candy and corn whiskey. Something green and vegetal.
Palate - Hotter than the HH. Burnt nuts, loads of drying oak. Dirt and bark. Sugar and soap.
Finish - Soap, oak, caramel and nuts. A little bitterness. Lots of heat.

Verdict: Heaven Hill wins again. Excellent nose, good enough palate. The Dant is so-so.

---

WORDS WORDS WORDS

My opinion of Heaven Hill 6yo bourbon remains the same as last week, though its quality was made quite clear when compared with the Dant in cocktail form. Meanwhile, it's difficult to recommend the Dant for cocktails. When neat, it smells and tastes very similar to the average well bourbon. No more, no less. With that being said, I'd still pick the Dant over the basic scotch blends (JW Red, Dewar's, Cutty Sark, etc.) that are 2.5x-3x Dant's price.

Verdict: J.W. Dant BIB smells and tastes like cheap whiskey. Heaven Hill 6yo BIB has better qualities than most of the common bourbons twice its price, and every "craft" bourbon four or five times its price. R.I.P.?

Availability - These are both only available in certain states. (EDITED) Availability of the HH is getting slim and labels are changing...
Pricing - HH: $10-$15, JWD: $9-$20(!)
Rating - HH: 82 and JWD: 70

RECIPE: The Hot Honey B.T. (as in Bourbon Toddy or Buffalo Trace)

Yes, this is heresy.  I'm posting a BOURBON recipe on Robbie Burns Eve.

But I do enjoy this beverage.  It's a Hot Honey BT (Bourbon Toddy or Buffalo Trace or something sexual, whatever you prefer).  It's a variation on the Hot Whiskey I love so.

Its origin can be found in a passing comment Forrest Cokely (of Hi Time fame!) made when we were chatting about booze.  I mentioned I like to use Powers and brown sugar in my hot whiskey.  Forrest said that he's used honey when making a hot toddy with Scotch whisky.  That sounded like a good idea to me.  Later that week, I was sipping some Buffalo Trace Bourbon when I really caught its honey note.  The symbolic light bulb switched on.  It's not Scotch, but it is Buffalo Trace.  The night was cold (for Southern California)...  Perhaps I should apply honey to BT to hot water...

Yes, I know I'm not the first to do so.  But here it is.

THIS

PLUS THIS

THE HOT HONEY B.T.

Official Ingredients:

Glass or Large Mug (approx 12-16oz.)
__Boiled Water (at least 2 glasses worth)
__1/4 of a lemon (peel and all, seeds removed)
__4 whole cloves
__1 tablespoon of Honey
__2 oz. of Buffalo Trace Bourbon.

Official Instructions:

1. First, boil the water.
2. Second, pour some of the hot water into the mug or glass and swirl it around, carefully!  Spill it out.  You now have one hot mug.
3. Add the honey to the mug or glass, then add the whiskey on top.  Give it an extensive stir in order to make sure that the honey dissolves a little bit in the whiskey.
4. Stick the cloves into the lemon wedge.  The white pith is the best spot, but if you poke them into the fruit itself, I won't tell anyone
5. Slip the lemon slice into the mug or glass and into the whiskey and honey mixture.
6. Fill the mug with hot water.
7. Give it several stirs to make sure the honey has fully dissolved.  Then give it a minute or two to cool down.  This will let the flavors mingle.  Give it one more stir before indulging.
8. Sip slowly.

Some unofficial notes:

When I first made this, I accidentally (seriously, accidentally) poured 3 ounces of bourbon into the mug.  Holy moley.  I was half asleep before I finished the drink.  So, at your own discretion, you may up the booze.

I've been using Trader Joe's Mesquite Honey.  Works like a charm.  Also, a tablespoon of honey can be a bit on the sweet side for some palates.  I wouldn't use more than that, but anything less than 2 teaspoons may not even make a ripple in the tipple.

Please let me know if you have any variations you prefer!

Single Malt Report: Glenfarclas 15 year old

Oh man.

Nutella.  Just me and a jar and a spoon.  Dinner.

Soooooo, whisky.

After the Laphroaigs, we go to the other side of the spectrum: the rich sherried Glenfarclas(es).

Glenfarclas is one my favorite whisky producers.  Owned by the Grant family since 1865, they specialize in ex-sherry European oak-matured whiskys and have a wide spectrum of releases: 10, 12, 15, 17, 21, 25, 30, 40, 50, three high-strength 105 bottlings, and their vast single Family Casks.  Their regular range is well-priced in the UK compared to other companies' sherry bombs.  They have a large capacity that turns out best-selling product, yet have never sold their shop to a multinational corporation.

Some quick official history:
Robert Hay officially opened the distillery in 1836.  Upon Hay's death, father and son, John and George Grant, bought the distillery in 1865 and began renting it out to John Smith (of Glenlivet fame).  When Smith left to open up Cragganmore in 1870, John and George founded J&G Grant Ltd. and began to run Glenfarclas on their own.

Here's the family ownership tree since then:
John → (son) George → (sons) John & George → (sons) George Scott & John Peter → (son) John L S → (son) George S.

That's consistency.

Though I'm not the biggest fan of first-fill sherry-oak whisky, I do adore Glenfarclas 105  And when I've sampled a couple other 'farclases, I found the oak, wine, and malt very well integrated.  It was never like sipping a glass of 86 proof sherry; there was whisky in there.  Whenever Macallan decides to gut their 12yr in the States, I'd like to have a sherried replacement.  I've tried Glendronach, now let us go 'Farclas.

Distillery: Glenfarclas
Ownership: J&G Grant Ltd.
Region: Speyside (Central)
Age: at least 15 years
Maturation: ex-oloroso (and maybe fino) sherry casks
Alcohol by Volume: 46%
(Mini bottled in July 2010)

NEAT:
The color is dark amber.  The nose starts with sour fruit (apple?), stewed raisins, and rum raisin ice cream.  There's some balsamic vinegar in there too, along with carob and brandied cherries.  The palate is very fudgy.  The sherry is present but not overwhelming.  Prunes, cherry liqueur, a touch of salt, and whipped cream show up promptly.  The medium-length finish carries mellow sherry.  There's some salt, a little bit of chalk, brief bitterness, but also a fresh floral fragrance.

WITH WATER:
Water dries the nose right out, so it's mostly cardboard and sherry.  Some oranges follow, old sweat, and a slight metallic moment.  The palate is also mostly sherry with the malt stripped back.  A little fudge remains, along with caramel sauce.  The finish is mild with that metallic note, but mostly sherry again.

SIPPED ALONG WITH A SPOONFUL OF NUTELLA:
Do this.  For your own sake.

(Source)

A bit of Nutella washed down with Glenfarclas 15yr.  Mmmm.  They mmmmmmerge into a BIG hit of hazelnuts and even a swoop of peanuts too.  I was standing in the kitchen upon the first try.  I had to sit down to fully process it.

Without Nutella, water seems to squelch most of the malt, so I recommend drinking this one neat.  Especially alongside Nutella.

Of course, I'm a total a**hole because the fifteen year isn't sold in the US.  But it is priced right if you're ever doing a UK order.  If you like sherried whisky, I'd recommend giving any Glenfarclas a try.  If you're on the fence about first-fill sherry casks, 'Farclas does a good job letting their malt live in the whisky, so perhaps you can give one a sip...

Availability - UK liquor specialists
Pricing - $55-$65 before shipping
Rating - 85

A Job Interview and a Smoothie

Had my first job interview in 9 years yesterday.  I must say, I have the utmost respect for the folks out there going to dozens of interviews trying to hunt down a job.  My interviewers (a panel of three) didn't have much in the way of specific questions and I felt like I had to be the energy behind the interview.  They also looked like they didn't particularly want to be there.  It may have been early, but couldn't they have even attempted to return a smile?

It was all very odd and empty, but necessary, I guess.  I'm all for new experiences and I should probably get better at interviews.  My bizarro work background isn't going to bowl anyone over, so I must seduce my future employers with my plentiful charm via braiding my nose hairs.

Around 8:30 in the morning, on the way to the interview, I crossed over the LA River into Wilmington.  As the bridge sloped down, I felt as if I was descending into a contemporary version Dante Alighieri's dreams.  Dark gloom, gloms of smoke belched into the air, oil refineries, rusting abandoned train cars, and barbed-wire-surrounded dumps.

I thought about the elusiveness of peace, joy, and spiritual contentment.  The perfect mental state to start an interview.  When I got home later, I saw this video sitting in my YouTube "Likes" list.  Thought it was appropriate.

On the other hand, California is in prime fruit season.  All the stone fruits are delicious right now, especially the peaches.  The berries are still scrumptious too.  So we have a ton of fruit in our home.

Being a Smoothie Man (but only post-workout), I had the revolutionary idea to use only fresh fruit in this morning's protein smoothie.  A peach, overripe raspberries and strawberries, raspberry yogurt, a splash of soy milk, vanilla whey protein, ice, and a drizzle of honey.

It was grand.  Possibly my best protein smoothie ever.  I'll let this cat describe it further.

Happy Friday!

Anti-Gravity Cocktail

Three Saturdays ago, Kristen and I spent an entire day applying two coats of paint to our hallways, living room, and dining room.  This past Sunday, Kristen spent the whole day painting the kitchen.  Same color, two coats.

Paint: Valspar
Color: Gravity

Gravity is a light gray with calm blue tones that sneak out when met with sunlight.  It was a lot of hard work, especially for Kristen.  So I thought I'd mix her up a new cocktail.

I started with the Gin-Basil Smash recipe for inspiration.
For one drink: Muddle one bunch of fresh basil with a quartered half-lemon and 2/3 oz. of simple syrup.  Then add 2 shots of Hendricks Gin.  Shake with ice and serve on the rocks.

That one is okay, but it was a bit on the sweet side for us.  We like to taste our Hendricks, not bury it under sugar.  So, the following was the result:

Anti-Gravity Cocktail
For two drinks, muddle at least two bunches of fresh basil (err on the side of more) with a whole quartered lemon and 1/2 shot of simple syrup.  Add two shots of Hendricks Gin, shake until the shaker is too cold to hold.  Serve on the rocks with a fresh basil garnish.

It's very refreshing and strong enough to alleviate the labors of the day.  Thus the Anti-Gravity Cocktail.

Here's a quick video I made of it.  Enjoy!

Cupcakes for Kristen

Since K's birthday was in the middle of Passover, I had to delay the birthday cake baking.  Thus the caking commenced today.

I may cook successfully from time to time, but baking?  Well, the meme said it best......

(source)

A day later, I'm happy to say that the condo remains intact.  And...

BOOM. Cupcakes.

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting.

When Kristen came home, they looked all cute and neat sitting there on the stove in the clean kitchen.

She has no idea what a g*ddamn Buster Keaton movie it was during their three-hour assembly.  You know, the Keaton film in which he calls a spatula a "******* ****!" seven times.

This is the recipe I used, though I added more (non-alkalized) cocoa and used a 1/3 of the coloring (because it's an industrial chemical additive).  It's actually a very easy recipe, I'm just a saphead.

The cake is good, the frosting is ridiculous.  I'm still riding my sugar high, 20 hours later.

IMPORTANT RECIPE: Hot Whiskey

It is Day Ten of what has turned out to be some double-respiratory-infection hotness.  I'm finally feeling better, but Kristen is beginning to fall under the weather.

So now is the best time to impart the recipe for one of the great medicines!  Think of it as the Irish Chicken Soup.  A remedy for all your ills.*

[*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, but is very delicious.]

I discovered Hot Whiskey on a cold rainy October night in Doolin, Ireland back in 2003.  Nothing warms the cockles of one's cockles like a proper hot whiskey.  It tastes better than tea, feels great on a cold evening, and temporarily soothes an aching throat.  For some time, I've been trying to reverse engineer the most accurate recipe on my own.  This is it.

Note: It is of the utmost importance that Powers Whiskey ($15-$20!) be used.  It's what the locals use.  Its flavors combine best with the ingredients.  And it's a mighty fine Irish blend at that.  Using Jamesons or Tullamore Dew or Paddy's or Michael Collins or any fancy whiskies will not taste the same.  Believe me, I've tried.

---

HOT WHISKEY

Ingredients for two serving sizes:

Mug (approx 8oz.)
__Boiled Water (at least 2 mugs worth just to be safe)
__1/4 of a lemon (peel and all, seeds removed) - 1 slice
__4 whole cloves
__1 tsp brown (or demerara) sugar
__3 tbl (1.5oz) Powers Gold Label Irish Whiskey

OR

Glass (approx 12-16oz.)
__Boiled Water (at least 2 glasses worth just to be safe)
__1/2 of a lemon (peel and all, seeds removed) - 2 slices
__8 whole cloves (4 for each lemon slice)
__1 heaping tsp of brown (or demerara) sugar
__5 tbl (2.5oz) Powers Gold Label Irish Whiskey

Instructions:

1. First, boil that water.
2. Second, pour a little of the hot water into the mug/glass and swirl it around.  Don't burn yourself!  Spill it out.  Now you have a properly heated receptacle.
3. Put the brown sugar in the mug/glass, then add the whiskey on top.  Give it a little stir so that the sugar dissolves a bit.
4. Stick the cloves into the lemon slice(s).  Try to poke them into the white part (the pith!).  If that doesn't work, press them into the pulp.
5. Carefully (to avoid losing whiskey) slide the lemon slice(s) into the mug/glass with the whiskey and sugar.
6. Pour the insanely hot water into the mug/glass until filled.
7. Give it a couple of stirs to make sure the sugar has fully dissolved.  Wait a moment or three to let the flavors combine, and also to avoid scalding your face.
8. Savour slowly.

That's "Savour" with a U.  Y'all.

---

Here's a link to another good and similar Hot Whiskey recipe.
Here's Powers' recipe for Hot Whiskey.

Mugs hold the heat longer and approximate the size of the serving you'd get in a pub.  Glasses show off the lovely colour and make it easier to see if the sugar has dissolved.  So if you have a Irish Coffee Glass (8oz), that makes for the best drinkware here.

On a responsible note: If you are sick, please do not consume more than 3 ounces of whiskey.  Overconsumption of alcohol can lower one's zinc levels, in turn risking further sickness.

If you're not sick, who am I to tell you how to run your life?  There are 25 ounces of whiskey in that bottle!

Sláinte mhaith!

Grilling pizza

It gives me great pleasure to be the pizza maker in this marriage.  I make the dough from scratch, then divide it up and freeze the extra dough in individual balls.  Then I roll it out, put it on a pre-heated cornmeal-sprinkled pizza stone, bake it, top it, bake it, slice it, serve it, eat it.

I created my own recipe for a honey whole wheat dough via trial and error in 2003-2004.  I made it for myself until Kristen moved in.  Once she expressed enthusiastic approval, the recipe went into our regular cycle of bi-monthly dinners.  Very little change in the recipe, but lots of changes in the toppings.  And that's the way it went for about seven years.

Then during one fortuitous week, a couple months ago, we visited with two sets of friends with whom we made pizza.

The first one, Kristen's friend Jessica, GRILLED her pizza dough.  The idea startled me.  For the first few weeks of owning my grill, almost everything that I put on it had fused to the grates.  Now she was putting floppy pizza dough on her grill.  And, to my amazement, it worked!  And it was delicious.

Then we visited our (newly-married) pals, James and Jess, who had made a scratch dough recipe for the first time.  It was a very simple recipe, but I loved the texture of the dough.  As I watched it bake in the oven, I thought, "If it tastes good, this is the recipe that I would try to grill."  It tasted good.  Very very good.

Who dat?! What a shlub.

A couple of weeks later we tried the recipe.  Somehow we had run low on white all-purpose flour, so I had to throw in a bunch of whole wheat flour.  Nonetheless the texture was great.  Then came time for the grilling.  I'll admit, I held my breath as I eased the dough onto the grates.  But sure enough, it never stuck.  And the result was fantastic, like a Mediterranean flatbread pizza.

(At a later date, I'll post my Honey Whole Wheat dough recipe, which is for baking rather than grilling and results in a thinner crispy crust.)

RECIPE:

So let's get it to it.  Here's the recipe from the great chef Mark Bittman -- it can also be found in his book How to Cook Everything and also in this exact format on his blog --

3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, plus more as needed

2 teaspoons instant yeast

2 teaspoons coarse kosher or sea salt, plus extra for sprinkling

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1. Combine the flour, yeast, and salt in a food processor. Turn the machine on and add 1 cup water and the oil through the feed tube.

2. Process for about 30 seconds, adding more water, a little at a time, until the mixture forms a ball and is slightly sticky to the touch. If it is still dry, add another tablespoon or two of water and process for another 10 seconds. (In the unlikely event that the mixture is too sticky, add flour a tablespoon at a time.)

3. Turn the dough onto a floured work surface and knead by hand for a few seconds to form a smooth, round dough ball. Put the dough in a bowl and cover with plastic wrap; let rise until the dough doubles in size, 1 to 2 hours. (You can cut this rising time short if you’re in a hurry, or you can let the dough rise more slowly, in the refrigerator, for up to 6 or 8 hours.) Proceed to Step 4 or wrap the dough tightly in plastic wrap or a zipper bag and freeze for up to a month. (Defrost in the bag or a covered bowl in the refrigerator or at room temperature; bring to room temperature before shaping.)

4. When the dough is ready, form it into a ball and divide it into 2 or more pieces if you like; roll each piece into a round ball. Put each ball on a lightly floured surface, sprinkle with flour, and cover with plastic wrap or a towel. Let rest until they puff slightly, about 20 minutes.

Now, this procedure specifies using a food processor, which I really recommend.  I've been mixing my own honey whole wheat dough recipe by hand for years, but the next time I'll use the processor for it. For Bittman's recipe you can use a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, then a dough hook when it gets tough.

My notes:  You can use one packet of Active Dry Yeast instead of two teaspoons of instant yeast.  I use two cups of white flour to one cup of whole wheat flour, then white is used for all additional flour; resulting somewhere between a 2:1 to 3:1 ratio.  The more whole wheat flour, the more water will be required.  Add the water slowly or else you'll end up with a dough puddle.  Once pulled out of the processor, it needs very little kneading.  If you tend to make pizza for two folks, then this recipe is good for three separate six-slice pizzas.  You can freeze the extra dough for three to four weeks.  When you defrost it later, make sure you leave it out until it has that nice extra-soft texture.

Source

GRILLING:

Before attempting this, you should google "grilling pizza" and take a look at how other folks do it.  I've combined a bunch of different people's procedures into this one.

(Please note: I do this on a gas grill.  You may need to do some additional googling if you're using charcoal.)

-- Preheat the grill at a medium-low flame.

-- Don't roll your dough out too thinly.  You will need to pick it up without it falling apart.  So leave it with a little bit of sponginess.  In fact, I don't roll it out much, flattening it mostly with my hands.

-- Important:  Make sure that the top and bottom are floured.

-- Place the round-ish result on a pizza peel or big cutting board and bring it out to the grill.

-- Bring your toppings out where they can be easily accessed.

-- Place the dough on the grill.  Easier said than done, right?  The thicker the dough the easier it is to do.  I lift the dough with both hands, fingers spread wide, then ease it down that way.  If you're hip enough to have a pizza peel, then slide that dough onto the grill grates.

-- There's no exact minute-count here.  But at a medium-low heat give it two minutes, then take a peek at the underside.  After that, I like to rotate the dough every 15 seconds for another minute or two, just to make sure everything is cooked evenly.

-- When you like the look of the underside -- lightly-browned, brown, or charred -- flip it over.  It should flip very evenly.

-- Now throw your toppings on!  Quickly!  Okay, not so quickly that you're losing stuff into the flame.  A lower-stress approach would be to turn the heat down low.

-- When you're done with the toppings, rotate the pizza around halfway then bring the grill cover down.  If your heat is still medium-low then this might take only a minute.  If the heat is low, then a little more than a minute.  Again, I like to keep rotating the pizza a little bit every 15-30 seconds to make sure that it's evenly grilled.  (I have a cheap grill.)

-- When it's ready, scoop it back up onto your peel or cutting board.  Slice.  Eat.

Your pizza will look exactly like this.  (Source)

If you do give this a try, I hope you enjoy the process and the results.  Let me know if you have any questions, notes, or alternatives.  Thanks!