...where distraction is the main attraction.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Strep Throat in April? What?

Don't really know how one gets strep throat during a 70-80 degree April.  Especially "one" who spends most of his time indoors by himself.

*earthquake just hit, unrelated but awesome*

I'm going to blame it on the scumbags at the gym whom pick their noses, wipe their asses, blow snot rockets, rub their junk, pick their asses, and wipe their noses without a proper washup afterwards.  And then lift the very same weights I do.  Now I can't kiss my wife for a week.

I just switched to a larger, cleaner, newer 24-Hour Fitness, but that doesn't mean that the majority of the members f**kers are any less likely to break all of the 30 Simple Rules.  That's why I wash my hands thoroughly after every workout.  Maybe I should turn into one of those Purell junkies after all.

I've been trying to figure out what to eat, since I can't even swallow water without a stabbing pain.  So here's my list thus far:

Things to eat when you have Strep Throat:
Nothing - probably not the best option
Yogurt - antibiotics prevent the growth of good bacteria in your stomach, yogurt provides some of that missing good stuff naturally
Soup - as close to broth as possible
Smoothies (w/protein) - but be careful, the cold stuff may feel good but the resulting ice-cream headache will punish your brains
Oatmeal - but not the thick kind
Maple Syrup - helps the medicine go down.  I'm kidding.  Sorta.
Chip dip without the chips - desperation takes over
Bowl of melted butter, BBQ sauce, honey, and tears of self pity - eat your shame with a spoon

Yeah, that's about it.

There's a lot of drinking of things like water (important) and hot tea which you'll swallow as your throat cries "F**K!" just like you do when you stub your pinky toe on a chair leg.

Good.  Times.  Now everyone, wash your hands.

I should post this at the gym