...where distraction is the main attraction.

Friday, October 4, 2019

Randy Brandy does not drink Black & White whisky

Wow, that was riveting.

How about something that doesn't embarrass us all? Of course that isn't a guarantee over here. Let's see what Kravitz is giving me to review.


A mini. And a partial one at that.

You see this? You see what I have to deal with? Actually, you people deal with this on a regular basis. I'd feel pity for you if I felt pity.

Anyway: Camus VS. As in, Camus vs. my need to drink something else.

Hey look, it's another...


Mini.

I'm so honored to drink Courvoisier from the 1980s that I WILL NOT POST A VIDEO OF MYSELF. I mean, who does that? All alone with a camera in his basement. Like a terrorist but without the viewers.


Oh wait, another brandy?


God, this picture is obscene. Those are D'Anjou pears, not Bartletts.

And here are my notes.

First I'll drink the Camus VS. They say it's big on esters, yet they also use small barrels. Yes, the latter has worked wonders for the quality of craft whiskies worldwide. And much to your surprise, it is the cheapest thing in the Camus line.

Camus VS, 40%abv
Nose - Pine, eucalyptus, tea tree oil, orange Smarties, Del Monte canned peaches, rye bread and dried apricots.
Palate - Citronella and peach schnapps. Lime juice and vanilla. And it is so goddamn sweet.
FFFFFFinish - Tart and syrupy sweet.

I'm not going to say they boiséd it up, just like I'm not going to say I poured most of this stuff over some vanilla ice cream. I will say it's a pretty smelling thing that tastes like Not Cognac. So at least you're getting two drinks for the price of one. Tastes good on ice cream though.

RATING: C-

Video Boy says the Courvoisier is from the late '80s. He drinks pre-WWII scotch, then hands me this gem. Hey, Pearls, what'd you do, steal this from a thrift shop?

Courvoisier VSOP Fine Champagne, 40%abv, from the 1980s
Nose - Orange peel, raspberry jam, canned peaches again. Cardamom, cloves, rosemary. Caramel candy and Peeps.
Palate - Wood spice, tannins. More tannins. Lime juice, rosewater and simple syrup.
Finish - A sweet caramel-laden tannic cocktail. With cardboard.

Another great cognac for people who don't like cognac. It smells very good, though it does tease the coming Cloy.  My dentures hurt.

RATING: C-

I'm beginning to feel pity. For myself. This Clear Creek had better not suck or else I'm going to break into Krav's house and steal his ONE bottle of Armagnac. One. How sad is that? I mean, he thinks he has six but his daughters have been swiping the bottles on the sly and flipping them for cases of cherry Tylenol. Nothing wrong with that. Says the man with extra long CVS receipts.

Clear Creek Pear Brandy, 40%abv
Nose - A mix of apple and pear ciders. Blackberry jam, lemon juice, eau de vie and PVC pipes.
Palate - Apples, anise and mint. Very creamy. 100% Bartlett pears by the second glass. And third glass. And fourth.
Finish - Same transition of apples to Bartlett pears. Good tart.

No more sugar or simple syrup or golden syrup or agave nectar or sucrose or galactose or Muscovado or Turbinado or Demerara or Dextrin or Sucanat or saccharin or stevia or treacle or trifles or spotted dick. A brandy can stay close to its fruit without going sweet, like this very Clear Creek brandy. The texture is good and it's easy to drink. It is not complex, but it is pear.

RATING: B

P. S. Achtung, D4P! No more brandy minis, ever. Bring out the real stuff so we can piss somebody off next time.