...where distraction is the main attraction.

Friday, April 19, 2019

The Rum Dummy drinks 2 Foursquare rums

Randy Brandy isn't the only funny writer on this site. The Rum Dummy has jokes!

Hey look, I am drinking two Foursquares, or should I say......Sixteen?

No wait, there's two. I'll start again.

Hey look, I am drinking two Foursquares, or should I say......Thirty-two?

But what if it's two times four to the second power. I'll start again.

Hey look, I am drinking two Foursquares, or should I say......Sixty-four?

Wait wait that doesn't work because it's Foursquares not Foursquared. I'll start again.

Hey look, I am drinking two Foursquares, or should I say......Eightsquares?

So?

Pretty good, huh?

Yeah, just wait until I review some Uitvlugt. Uitvlugt. Hilarious, right?


The first rum today is:

Foursquare 10 year old Criterion (bourbon & Madeira casks) blended rum 56%abv

Richard Seale of Foursquare distillery uses big words like "Criterion" and "Exceptional" on the bottle label, which are weird words to see on a rum label. But I also see "Blended" and "Rum", and I know what those words mean. People who sold these bottles said the rum was aged in bourbon casks for 3 years, then Madeira casks for seven years. They could be right, I don't know.

Nose - Bourbon, dusty old shoes, cocoa, caramel, cloves, pinot noir, honey mustard and vanilla. Putting water in the rum makes the rum smell spicier.
Palate - It's hot on my palate and also tannic. Also lemons, sweet oranges, cinnamon and little bit of almost-Jamaican funk. Putting water in the rum makes the rum taste mostly the same, maybe sweeter.
Finish - Long, hot, tangy, sweet, bitter oak and baking spices. Putting water in the rum cools down the finish, leaving it very tannic.

It smells very very good. Tastes mostly good. Lots and lots of woodiness though. I don't know how much this matters because no one's selling this rum anymore.

NOT WHISKY RATING: B-

Hey, I also know some funny limericks!

Oh, yeah, there's another rum here. Stick around for my funny limericks after the second rum.

The second rum is:

Foursquare 12 year old 2005 (bourbon casks) blended rum, 59%abv

This is kinda like a sequel to the 11 year old I reviewed last year. Just bourbon casks. The 12 year old rum's label says "full proof" just like 11 year old's and is the same exact ABV as the 11 year old. Is that magic? I'm so confused.

Nose - It smells medicinal. And there's caramel, vanilla, milk chocolate, plastic toys, citrus and root beer. Putting water in the rum doesn't change it much.
Palate - Softer than the nose. Smaller medicinal note. Toasted almonds, caramel sauce, bourbon and bourbony cherry note. Putting water in the rum makes it tannic and sweet.
Finish - Sugar, hotness, vanilla, caramel, a little bit of funk. Very long. Putting water in the rum makes it tannic and sweet.

This is like a bourbon from an ex-Islay cask. Sort of. Better wood notes than the Criterion. Better finish too. I like it better.

NOT WHISKY RATING: B

Okay, so here's my first funny limerick.

There once was a girl from Enmore
Who dressed like--

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