Westland Week

Have the tariff turkeys and their enablers gotten you down? Never fear. Blended scotch, Irish pot still, cognac and many other brown spirits won't be affected. Yet.

Or you can, like, not buy stuff. Yeah, I know, I know. I know the struggle.

For my American readers, there is at least one decent single malt made in these United(?) States. As one of the only 21st century American distilleries that was backed with ample private investment, Westland produces a steady stream of single casks and limited edition malts. They also have a regular range that's widely available here and abroad.

I visited Westland Distillery nearly four years ago, enjoying the experience and the whisky. Rémy Cointreau bought the company the company a year later (yes, it's my fault), and wisely kept the lead distiller, Matthew Hoffman. There's been very little obvious corporate tinkering since then. Much like Westland, Rémy's scotch distillery, Bruichladdich, is all about barley varieties. The ownership has let both facilities continue to fly that experimental flag.

Westland sells their trio of regular bottlings in a 3x200mL set, something I wish more scotch companies would consider. When I found one of these sets selling at half price this year, I scooped it up and open the bottles relatively promptly.

Yes, the word 'American' appears six times.

I'm going to review each of these three whiskies this week, then sum it up on Friday, comparing the results to my expectations and previous experiences. Hopefully each post will be bite-sized or dram-sized or at least not TL;DR. But no guarantees!

Bea's Birthday Booze: Bowmore 21 year old 1973

The 9-to-5 (or rather then 7-to-5) work life leaves parents with a minimum of positive time with their children. We get to see our wee ones just after they wake up and just before they go to sleep. Those are not Happy Kid Times.

Recently I was blessed with an opportunity to hang out with Beatrice, just we two, for a number of hours during the day, and it was delightful. Here are some things we did:

• Read eleven board books without pause. I'd exhausted my various character voices, most of which are offensive stereotypes, by book five. As narrator, I was not allowed to break for tea or potty.
• Watched baseball, or rather BAY-BALL. (She speaks in bold and caps.) My girls now request to watch baseball highlights, which is a-ma-zing! The playoffs last only three more weeks, but the girls will have likely grown out of it by then. Treasuring it now.
• My favorite: a makeover. For at least 20 minutes, I was instructed to SIT PAPA SIT, during which time zoo stickers were applied to my forehead (ample space!), and every item from the girls' play kitchen was rubbed all over my face and hair. She had incredible focus, taking seven different calls on her toy(?) phone without pausing her esthetician work. I look younger and prettier as a result.

Life went back to normal the next day. Remind me to schedule a followup appointment.

This sample has been sitting unopened for much too long. It's a good time for something special.

Distillery: Bowmore

Owner at time of distillation: Stanley Morrison
Owner at time of bottling: Suntory Holdings
Region: Islay

Age: 21 years
Distilled in: 1973

Maturation: sherry butts

Alcohol by Volume: 43%abv
(from a purchased sample)

The Nose - Yes there are ripe melons, yuzu, kabosu and summer peaches, but I cannot overstate the fruits' intensity. It fills the the nose from across the room. Just beneath that one can find the ocean, salty air, bonfire, kelp and seaweed. Gentler notes of ground cloves, shisha, antiseptic and honey linger around the edges.

The Palate - A swirl of dense gorgeous oceanic peat and delicate baking spices. Some of the nose's bright Japanese citrus (though beware of taking a bite of kabosu, those can be tart as a MFer), along with California lemons. The citrus takes over after 30 minutes and fills whatever sensory nooks haven't succumbed to the nose.

The Finish - The citrus peels and peat have merged and remain for a long, long time with just the right amount of sweetness.

Words Words Words - I don't really understand how this intensity came to exist in a 43%abv whisky that sat in its bottle 20 years, then in a sample bottle for 4-5 years. And had I been born twenty years earlier, and been used to consuming whisky of this quality, I would have quit scotch whisky in this decade. There's nothing like this now. Yes, Bowmore still hits doubles and triples with some of their independent single casks. But those ain't this. This is a remarkable whisky.

Availability - Auctions, maybe
Pricing - A whole lot of money
Rating - 93

Bea's Birthday Booze: Charbay single barrel hop-flavored whiskey, bottled for T5C

Nearly every weekend morning begins with "PAPA! UP! PAPA GET UP! GET! UP! GET! UP!" Beatrice will even run over to the bed and grab the blanket and try to pull it off.

(I'm not complaining. She does this at 7:00am and not 5:00am. Not yet.)

Later that morning, "Can Papa give you a hug?" "NO!" Papa is proud of his confident girl. Papa also crawls into a cave in his mind to sob by hi-- "NO! PAPA OUT!"

Some Charbay perhaps?

As I mentioned to the gentleman who shared this sample, I basically lose my brains when I drink Charbay. My bias towards single pot still Irish whiskey proves quaint compared to my feelings about full-power Charbay.

Distillery: Charbay

Type: Charbay-flavored whiskey
Region: Charbay, Charbay

Mashbill: 100% Charbay
Age: 3 Charbays old
Maturation: Charbay cask

Exclusive to: T5C who selected this Charbay

Alcohol by Volume: 73.4% (yes, Charbay)
(Thank you to Secret Agent Man)

The nose: One would have no idea that this is 73.4%abv judging by the nose. There are pine needles, cherries and vanilla beans wrapped in a heavy hops blanket. Lots of fragrant wood: sandalwood, cedar and Palo Santo. It shifts with time, releasing maple, fennel, butterscotch sauce and more cherries. No burn.

The palate:

So yeah, dank. Unlike most Charbays it strikes right up front rather than unfolding later on. There are also mint leaves and fried plantains in honey. Lime candies and dried oregano amongst bitter herbal moments. More drinkable than most whiskies bottled 20 percentage points lower.

The finish: Looooooong. Graceful old oak, IPA, mint leaves and hints of bell peppers. It's gentler on the ganja than other Charbays. BUT IT'S THERE. Man.

Words Words Words: While this pick doesn't ascend to the heights of some of the numbered (I-VII?) series, it's still a tremendous thing. I don't understand how it can be so easily consumed when bottled at such a violent strength. It's scary and wonderful and yo where are the cupcakes and peanut butter and those really crunchy kettle chips. Oh, I'm sorry that's the "hops" talking. Meanwhile, the oak notes are lovely. It's as if the cask was fashioned with a variety of aromatic woods and some old furniture. The mad and marvelous Marko does it again.

Availability - Sold out
Pricing - ???
Rating - 89

Bea's Birthday Booze: Daftmill 2006 Winter Batch Release (2018)

I've been a parent for five years now, and it's fair to say I still don't know what I'm doing. But I do know that Beatrice Joy turned 2 years old yesterday. And she is very Two. She is brilliant and social and hilarious and beautiful and I'm tired y'all. Here's a smiley picture:

I'm consuming and reviewing three hundred special whiskies in honor of her birthday. Firstly...

Of all the new distilleries introducing their first products during this decade, there's only one I've been following, Daftmill. It's a teeny Lowland farm distillery run by the Cuthbert family. They've been distilling (using their own barley) since 2005, but only released their first whisky last year. Yes, you read that correctly. They had the audacity to AGE THEIR WHISKY FOR 12 YEARS before bottling it for public consumption. It's madness I tell you.

Since they do only 100 casks per year, they're going to remain micro for the foreseeable future. And that's great. Just beware, the demand has exceeded the supply.

Thank you to Doctor Springbank for opening a bottle and sharing!

Distillery: Daftmill

Owner: Francis Cuthbert
Region: Bow of Fife, Lowlands

Age: 11-12 years (December 2006 - 2018)

Maturation: 5 bourbon casks (074/2006, 075/2006, 076/2006, 078/2006, 079/2006)
Outturn: 1265 bottles

Alcohol by Volume: 46%abv
Chillfiltered? No
Colorant Added? No

NEAT
There's lots of barley on the nose, along with grass, orange juice, pine sap, Cheerios, Frosted Mini Wheats and a hint of grapefruit. Breakfast on the farm. The palate is very worty. Barley with a quirky tangy edge. Also: jasmine, roasted almonds and an extra grapefruity IPA beneath a curiously sharp alcohol bite. Tangy floral yeasty wort in the finish.

DILUTED TO ~40%abv, or < 1 tsp of water per 30mL whisky
Now there are baskets of grist from the mill in the nose, then smaller notes of maple, cinnamon, ground mustard seed and brown sugar. The gentler pleasant palate leads with the barley again, but now there's a honeyed sweetness to it. Subtle nut and flower notes. It finishes sweeter, less tangy and a little less floral.

WORDS WORDS WORDS
To my nose and mouth, this Winter Batch Release seems younger than its age but not in the usual "ugh why was this bottled?" sort of way. Instead, with barley and the yeast in the forefront and the oak in the waaaaaaaay back, this whisky shows off what we snoots mean when we say "Distillery Character". Though the power of suggestion may be in play, I think this feels like a farm whisky. Another few years of maturation wouldn't hurt, or maybe other small batches read more mature, but this is a good launching point. It's actual whisky.

Availability - Secondary market
Pricing - about 4x what it originally sold for
Rating - 84

Randy Brandy does not drink Black & White whisky

Wow, that was riveting.

How about something that doesn't embarrass us all? Of course that isn't a guarantee over here. Let's see what Kravitz is giving me to review.

A mini. And a partial one at that.

You see this? You see what I have to deal with? Actually, you people deal with this on a regular basis. I'd feel pity for you if I felt pity.

Anyway: Camus VS. As in, Camus vs. my need to drink something else.

Hey look, it's another...

Mini.

I'm so honored to drink Courvoisier from the 1980s that I WILL NOT POST A VIDEO OF MYSELF. I mean, who does that? All alone with a camera in his basement. Like a terrorist but without the viewers.

Oh wait, another brandy?

God, this picture is obscene. Those are D'Anjou pears, not Bartletts.

And here are my notes.

First I'll drink the Camus VS. They say it's big on esters, yet they also use small barrels. Yes, the latter has worked wonders for the quality of craft whiskies worldwide. And much to your surprise, it is the cheapest thing in the Camus line.

Camus VS, 40%abv
Nose - Pine, eucalyptus, tea tree oil, orange Smarties, Del Monte canned peaches, rye bread and dried apricots.
Palate - Citronella and peach schnapps. Lime juice and vanilla. And it is so goddamn sweet.
FFFFFFinish - Tart and syrupy sweet.

I'm not going to say they boiséd it up, just like I'm not going to say I poured most of this stuff over some vanilla ice cream. I will say it's a pretty smelling thing that tastes like Not Cognac. So at least you're getting two drinks for the price of one. Tastes good on ice cream though.

RATING: C-

Video Boy says the Courvoisier is from the late '80s. He drinks pre-WWII scotch, then hands me this gem. Hey, Pearls, what'd you do, steal this from a thrift shop?

Courvoisier VSOP Fine Champagne, 40%abv, from the 1980s
Nose - Orange peel, raspberry jam, canned peaches again. Cardamom, cloves, rosemary. Caramel candy and Peeps.
Palate - Wood spice, tannins. More tannins. Lime juice, rosewater and simple syrup.
Finish - A sweet caramel-laden tannic cocktail. With cardboard.

Another great cognac for people who don't like cognac. It smells very good, though it does tease the coming Cloy.  My dentures hurt.

RATING: C-

I'm beginning to feel pity. For myself. This Clear Creek had better not suck or else I'm going to break into Krav's house and steal his ONE bottle of Armagnac. One. How sad is that? I mean, he thinks he has six but his daughters have been swiping the bottles on the sly and flipping them for cases of cherry Tylenol. Nothing wrong with that. Says the man with extra long CVS receipts.

Clear Creek Pear Brandy, 40%abv
Nose - A mix of apple and pear ciders. Blackberry jam, lemon juice, eau de vie and PVC pipes.
Palate - Apples, anise and mint. Very creamy. 100% Bartlett pears by the second glass. And third glass. And fourth.
Finish - Same transition of apples to Bartlett pears. Good tart.

No more sugar or simple syrup or golden syrup or agave nectar or sucrose or galactose or Muscovado or Turbinado or Demerara or Dextrin or Sucanat or saccharin or stevia or treacle or trifles or spotted dick. A brandy can stay close to its fruit without going sweet, like this very Clear Creek brandy. The texture is good and it's easy to drink. It is not complex, but it is pear.

RATING: B

P. S. Achtung, D4P! No more brandy minis, ever. Bring out the real stuff so we can piss somebody off next time.

The Whisky Gaze: Two Black & White TV Commercials from the 1970s

I'd like to say that my Black & White stash motivated this month's thematic content, but the true inspiration was the discovery of two old Black & White TV commercials on YouTube. The commercials are from the same time period and carry the same message.

And that message is: Black & White = Hot Chicks.

To wit, Commercial 1.



A summary of the plot: The real life Artie Ziff is down in the dumps, standing at a cardboard bar in Pretend Morocco. Suddenly a blonde woman sees a chance at getting a free drink out of the sad sap. Because she's three feet larger than him she gets a tall drink. The end.

Weighing in at 59 seconds, this ad feels at least thrice that length due to its wretched editing. The editor either fell asleep on the flatbed (see what I did there?), or the commercial was cut by a drunkard's feet. At half its length the ad would have been twice as effective. But even then, the eye lines never match. The continuity is so poor, the final result seems like footage from two ads were smushed together.

Between the garbage direction, unfortunate editing and kick ass soundtrack, I half expected underexposed hairy hardcore sex to follow. Or maybe I've watched too many Joe D'Amato films.

Now, Commercial 2:



A summary of the plot: Black & White being poured over the rocks. A woman in a white bathing suit gets wet. The end.

Wow! This ad works so well, I think I saw breasts floating in the scotch. Someone out there had been studying his or her Kuleshov and Eisenstein. Unlike the other commercial, this thing blasts through like shit through a goose. Unlike the other commercial, this ad never hesitates on its way to completion. The woman and the whisky are put on equal ogling grounds, and then you the viewer get BOTH at the end of the day. Sounds legit. I'll buy a case.

According the comments on these videos, there was at least one more commercial from this campaign, one with a woman in a black bathing suit climbing out of a jacuzzi. So the theme was consistent. Though these ads worked in one way since people remembered them 35-40 years later, were they effective beyond simple voyeurism?

This objectification of women was not unique to these Black & White's advertisements, or the industry as a whole. An advertising campaign like this (or this) demeans, at minimum, 50% of consumers. As referenced in a previous post, Black & White's sales declined rapidly from the late '60s through the '70s, into the '80s. This campaign did not salvage the brand in any way because three more decades passed before Black & White's sales ascended. The need to objectify women overrode the need to expand the customer base, and the brand gained nothing.

Killing Whisky History, Episode 29: World War II era Black & White with a 1960s chaser

Going monochrome and wistful, I review this 1941 bottling of 8 year old Black & White and its 1960s cousin. Thank you for joining me on this month-long Black & White sojourn!

RATINGS:

1960s Black & White
Rating - 86

Black & White 8 year old, bottled in 1941
Rating - 88