A good man of great spirit, Christopher Hitchens.

Christopher Hitchens died last night, due to complications from esophageal cancer.  He was the most enjoyable spitfire in international journalism, a spectacular essayist (even when one doesn't agree with a single word), and a world class drinker.

Andrew Sullivan shares hours of thoughts on his blog.
Christopher Buckley writes about their unlikely friendship.
Slate has a collection of his columns.
Here's a lecture he gave on drinking correctly.

I'm travelling right now with family and am struggling to access words that will capture my sadness at his departure.  The last of his essays has been written.  Thank you, Christopher.  If there is another life, I'm sure you have gotten over that surprise and promptly taken to causing trouble and drinking well.

Single Malt Report: Longrow CV (part 4 of 4)

The Springbank Taste Off concludes!

From left to right we've got Hazelburn 8yr, Springbank 10yr 100 Proof, and Longrow CV.

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On Monday, I gave a little intro into the Campbeltown region and the Springbank Distillery.
On Tuesday, I reported on Hazelburn 8yr.
On Wednesday, I reported on Springbank 10yr 100 proof.
Today, I'll report on Longrow CV, the final dram in the Springbank Taste Off.

The obligatory historical recap:  Though just a tiny town, Campbeltown was a serious whisky producer in the 1800s.  A major downturn in the 1900s decimated over 90% of their distilleries.  The strongest remaining producer of in the region is the Springbank distillery which makes a number of completely unique whisky brands, all separated by different distillation methods.

Longrow is the second most prevalent of Springbank's brands in the US.  It also has been around the second longest and has the second most bottlings.  (The original Springbank brand is first in all of those categories.)  But Longrow is a considerably different whisky than its brothers.  While it is also not chillfiltered and not dyed, it is distilled but twice like a classic malt and is heavily peated in a similar fashion to Islay whiskies.  And it also has some curious finishes.

Longrow CV doesn't have age, proof, or cask appendages.  So what is it?

CV, for the Americans out there (I had to figure this out back when I was applying for film jobs in Ireland), stands for curriculum vitae.  It's very similar to a résumé.  It's a concise listing of qualifications, achievements, and skills.  Everyone in the UK who's job searching has one.

Springbank put a neat spin on this idea by creating CVs for each of Hazelburn, Springbank, and Longrow.  They took a number of different casks from different years in their warehouse and combined them into single whiskies.  Because these combinations are all from the same distillery and brand, they are still considered single malts and not blends.  They're sort of an overview of what the brand has to offer.

The Longrow CV is a particularly odd little space cadet.  Take a peek at the info below:

Distillery: Springbank

Brand: Longrow

Ages: between 6 and 14 years (likely 7, 10, & 14 years in this specific bottling)

Finished in: sherry, port, bourbon, and rum casks

Region: Campbeltown

Alcohol by Volume: 46%

The age ranges are broad, everything from a very young malt to a well-aged mid-range.  And look at all of those finishes:  Sherry, port, bourbon, and rum.  I actually didn't know this information going into my purchase of this dram.  I found this out just before the Taste Off.  On the surface it seemed like a bizarre goulash of things that don't really seem to belong together.  These were unknown waters, of the whisky sort.

As this was the final dram in each of the tastings (neat and with water), I had an excellent opportunity to compare and contrast this with the other very different (Hazelburn and Springbank) single malts.  Though I was now uncertain of how this one would turn out, I was looking forward to a bigger peater....

Longrow CV, neat.

Though it wasn't dark, the color was the darkest of the three.  In fact, my tasting wound up going from lightest to darkest, unintentionally.  The nose had the most upfront alcohol kick of the three.  But behind it was a calmer version of the hefty Springbank.  Full of rum sugar and peat smoke, very pleasant.  For the palate I will defer to my tasting notes: "Different than an Islay, like a caramel candy with a peat smoke center.  Some mild salt.  Never tasted anything like this.  Tremendous."  The finish was mild but deliciously honey sweet.

Let's get back to that "never tasted anything like this" comment.  I found myself bereft of adjectives.  There was some crazy alchemy involved in this mixing of malts.  To give you an idea, here's a list of descriptors provided by several professional tasters:

Tobacco smoke, smoked fish, lively brine, honey, grain, tangy flavors of spiced rum, vanilla cake frosting, cocoa butter, milk chocolate, sweet oak, grain, cheese, dried fruit, brown sugar, marshmallows toasted on a campfire, soft billows of smoke from the kiln, peppery, big citrusy notes, vanilla fudge, orangeade, and dried ginger.

I had struggled to describe it because it has everything.  And it doesn't feel like a blob.  It works.

Then I added a tablespoon of water to lower it to 35% ABV.  The nose became plastic and peat up front.  Some of the sherry snuck out.  The Springbank band-aids.  Wet peat soaked by the ocean.  Now the palate was big and bold, becoming both sweeter and peatier.   The finish was "even better than before", peat with fruit sugars.

I sat there, looking at my empty glasses, genuinely thrilled having enjoyed the entire thing.  And tipsy.

Bravo to Springbank for having sculpted these three unique whisky brands.  They are linked by an oceanic character, but then diverge into separate dimensions.  I look forward to expanding my knowledge of all things Springbank.

I'll leave you with some good news.  No disclaimers about this bottling.  You'll need to find a good liquor store (US or UK), but once you do, they should have this.  I recommend it.

Pricing - Bargain! at $50-$55

Rating - 92

Single Malt Report: Springbank 10 years old 100 proof (part 3 of 4)

The Springbank Taste Off continues!

From left to right we've got Hazelburn 8yr, Springbank 10yr 100 Proof, and Longrow CV.

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On Monday, I gave a little intro into the Campbeltown region and the Springbank Distillery.
On Tuesday, I reported on Hazelburn 8yr.
Today, I'll report on Springbank 10yr 100 proof

The historical recap:  Though just a tiny town, Campbeltown was a serious whisky producer in the 1800s.  A major downturn in the 1900s decimated over 90% of their distilleries.  The strongest remaining producer of in the region is the Springbank distillery which makes a number of completely unique whisky brands, all separated by different distillation methods.

Springbank's Springbank brand is their largest and most popular.  One of their bottlings can be found at any decent liquor store in California, unlike the more limited Hazelburn brand.  Springbank's malt is distilled two-and-a-half times, is lightly peated, and remains unchillfiltered and undyed, keeping the resulting whisky in the style of the old Campbeltown bottlings.  Their regular 10 year is bottled at 46% ABV.  But this is not their regular 10 year.

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PROOF*:  As you'll see by the subject heading, the particular whisky that I'm tasting is labelled "100 Proof".  Alcohol Proof in the UK is different than in the US.

In the US, when alcohol content was first tested in a lab, it was done so per 200 parts of the liquid.  If 80 parts of the liquid was alcohol, the liquid was thus 40% alcohol.  So US "proof" equals twice the Alcohol by volume.  Thus 100 proof = 50% ABV.

In the UK, it's much sexier.  Back when British sailors were allowed to bring aboard rations of rum, they would test to see if it had been diluted.  To do this, they would submerge gunpowder in a portion of the rum.  Then they'd light it on fire.  If the rum had been watered down, then the gunpowder wouldn't ignite.  If it remained flammable, then it was good to go.  Because they didn't have sophisticated scales, they set the undiluted standard (proof of quality, if you will) at 100 proof.  Later studies discovered that the amount of alcohol necessary for this flammable balance was 4:7 or 57.14%.  Thus 100 proof = approximately 57%.

Because Springbank is from the UK and because they wanted to label the whisky in the classic (pre-1980) fashion, they appended the name with "100 proof".  And it is thus 57% alcohol by volume.  It's a strong drink.

(Update: It turns out that the US bottling is in fact 50% ABV, thus 100 US proof.  The UK bottling is 57% ABV, which is 100 UK proof.  Not sure why they chose to change it for the American market.  To prevent confusion, perhaps?  The "105" in Glenfarclas 105 refers to its UK proof, which equals 60% ABV, yet the distillers bottled it at that same strength for the US and the UK.  BUT, no worries, the US bottling of the Springbank 10yr 100 proof is also delicious and will get its own report in the near future.)

* - Though copious interent research went into this "Proof" information, it was still just internet research.  I welcome all corrections.

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Distillery: Springbank

Brand: Springbank

Age: minimum 10 years

Maturation: Mostly bourbon

Region: Campbeltown

Alcohol by Volume: 57% (100 UK Proof)

Like the other two drams, I obtained my taste of Springbank 10yr 100 proof from Master of Malt's Drinks by the Dram samples.  The little bottle held 3cL (30mL) worth, perfect for a taste off.

Here's how I structured the Taste Off:

Hazelburn (neat), Springbank (neat), Longrow (neat), then...

Hazelburn (w/water), Springbank (w/water), Longrow (w/water)

So now, in the second slot, Springbank 10 years old 100 Proof.  First, neat:

The color was a light gold, but a bit darker than the Hazelburn.  The nose on cask strength whiskies can be tricky, full of alcohol burn.  But not this one.  Much less of a burn than I had anticipated.  Instead it was very oceanic, salt and seaweed.  Then plastics, dyes on old baseball cards, a little toffee at the end.  My notes say, "a seaside carnival".  The palate immediately felt like a mild Islay.  A little bit of Bowmore-style peat.  A nibble of Johnnie Walker Black.  Then more wet peat.  Apricots.  Sweet on the tongue but not sugary.  The finish was red hot and very lengthy!  Full of band-aids and ocean mist.

Then I added two tablespoons of water, bringing the ABV down to 35%.

The nose was now "almost Lagavulin".  Nice peat, with cinnamon, pastries, band-aids, and a little citrus.  The palate was reminiscent of my great Bowmore 16yr from Signatory.  Also reminded me of a lightly-fruited Lowland wrapped up in peat.  The finish was "cinnamon on a peat pillow".

Adding the water turned it into completely different experience.  That's what I love about these high strength whiskies.  They allow you to choose your own adventure.  This one turned an industrial oceanic ass-kicker into a compulsively drinkable anytime malt.  I liked them both considerably.

A note about the bottling:  The good news is that this whisky is stellar.  The bad news is that it's no longer in production.  At some point this year Springbank replaced it with the 12yr Cask Strength.  That new heavy hitter is getting good notices, though some reviewers miss the big baby from this report.  The large online UK whisky sellers no longer carry the 10yr 100 proof.  But if you do some good detective work, you just might find a US seller with a bottle left.  I did.

Pricing - Excellent at $70

Rating - 92

Tomorrow: Longrow CV!

Single Malt Report: Hazelburn 8 years old (part 2 of 4)

It's a Springbank Taste Off!

From left to right we've got Hazelburn 8yr, Springbank 10yr 100 Proof, and Longrow CV.

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Yesterday, I gave a little intro into the Campbeltown region and the Springbank Distillery.  Today, I'll start reporting on this epic Taste Off.

To review: though just a tiny town, Campbeltown was a serious whisky producer in the 1800s.  A major downturn in the 1900s decimated over 90% of their distilleries.  The strongest remaining producer of in the region is the Springbank distillery which makes a number of completely unique whisky brands, all separated by different distillation methods.

One of these whisky brands is Hazelburn.  Named after one of the closed old distilleries, Hazelburn's distillation began in 1997, with the first bottling (8 years old) released in 2005.  They've since added three other bottlings, but the 8 year old has been the most successful and the easiest one to find in The States.

The Hazelburn whisky sets itself apart from the other Springbank brands by its distillation methods.  Almost all scotch whisky is distilled twice.  Only Irish whiskies and scotch malts from The Lowlands are malted three times.  This third distillation creates a lighter smoother whisky.  Hazelburn now also passes through this third distilling, and its malt is not peated, thus allowing it to be crafted in the Lowland style.

Like all other Springbank produced whiskies, it isn't chillfiltered, it isn't artificially colored, and its barley is actually grown by Campbeltown farmers.  Here's a little more info:

Distillery: Springbank

Brand: Hazelburn

Age: minimum 8 years

Maturation: 60% ex-bourbon casks + 40% sherry casks

Region: Campbeltown

Alcohol by Volume: 46%

Limited bottling: 5,100

I came by my dram of Hazelburn 8 year via Master of Malt's tremendous Drinks by the Dram samples.  It's not available right now amongst their sample selection so I'm plenty happy that I was able to get it while it was there.  It was a 3cL or 30mL-sized dram which works very well for this sort of tasting.

Here's how I structured the Taste Off:

Hazelburn (neat), Springbank (neat), Longrow (neat), then...

Hazelburn (w/water), Springbank (w/water), Longrow (w/water)

This allowed me to compare and contrast these three very different whiskies.

So.... Hazelburn neat.

As you can tell by the bottle picture its color's very light, the lightest of the three whiskies.  Almost Sauvignon Blanc light.  Its nose was light, soft, full of confectioners' sugar, vanilla, cookie dough, and lemon.  It was like the scent of a bakery in full swing.  The texture mirrored the color, very light and soft.  But the palate shifted gears away from the nose.  It tasted of the sea, shellfish, and bread crusts.  My notes read: "Like a light lunch in the sun by the bay."  The finish was brief but very pleasant, soaked with the vanilla flavors from the bourbon casks.

Then I added one tablespoon of water, bringing the ABV down to 35%.

This caused everything to shift and change.  On the nose, the bourbon influence took a back seat to the sherry casks.  There was lots of anise to go with the sherry.  It was less sugary and contained some mysterious similarity to the Springbank 10yr I was sampling.  The palate was cream and cardboard, like the white cardboard bottoms on Hostess Cupcakes.  The finish was "kind and lazy", full of unsweetened breakfast cereal flakes.

Like Glenkinchie (a Lowland single malt) it's a light, polite dram.  But its nosing and flavors are a bit different than the Lowlands I've tried.  Less fruit, more malt and a curious seaside element that carries through the other Springbank brands that I tried.

A note about the bottle pricing: As you'll see, this is a relatively expensive 8yr official bottling.  The specific whisky production method likely factors into this price point.  You're paying for an old-school handmade process that uses Campbeltown-only resources.  Also, this is a limited bottling and its in short supply here in the US.  At the same time, I'm a little surprised by the expense compared to its Springbank brethren.  And it is priced out of the reach of most middle-class whisky lovers.  (UK amounts listed include shipping, but not VAT, and cover a 700mL bottle.)

Pricing - A little steep at $80-85 (U.S. & U.K.) if you find it for less, grab it before the price goes up

Rating - 82

Tomorrow: Springbank 10yr 100 Proof!

Single Malt Report: Springbank Distillery (part 1 of 4!)

A bit of an intro first.  As I'd referenced in some early Single Malt Reports, Scotland's whisky production is often divided up into six regions:

The Lowlands (ex: Glenkinchie & Auchentoshan)
The Highlands (ex: Oban & Glenmorangie)
The Islands (ex: Jura & Talisker)
Speyside (ex: Macallan & Glenfiddich)
Islay (ex: Bowmore & Laphroaig)
Campbeltown...

Let's zero in on Campbeltown.  Here's a pic of the famous phallus, the Kintyre peninsula:

The town of Campbeltown is nestled down southeast, right near the, um, head.

Packing thirty-four distilleries into its tiny town on a little Scottish peninsula, Campbeltown proclaimed that it was "the capital of the whisky world".  With the coastal air, bounties of water and peat, tonnes of barley, and an excellent shipping location it was the perfect region for whisky production in the 1800s.

But the 1900s weren't so kind.

Thirty-four distilleries packed into a small town wasn't sustainable.  First there was overproduction.  Then the railroads made Speyside more easily accessible.  Then The Depression hit.  But the nail in the coffin was the American Prohibition.  By the 1950s, only two distilleries remained.  And those two are still up and running today:  Springbank and Glen Scotia.

The larger of the two, Springbank, is quite impressive.  Still independently owned, they are one of the only distilleries to use their own barley in their maltings.  They've reinvested their profits by buying up and incorporating some of the silent stills from the defunct distilleries.  They've had the funding and resources to help out Glen Scotia with its own production.  They don't chillfilter and they don't add colouring.  And they produce four entirely different whiskies with completely different production methods, each with their own set of bottlings:  Springbank, Longrow, Hazelburn, and Kilkerran.

Kilkerran is still a baby, but they have released a malt that I will beg, borrow, and steal for before 2012 has finished.  But I have had a whisky from each of the other three.  In fact, I had all three during a single tasting:

And it was marvelous.  One of my favourite whisky afternoons, ever.  There's so much goodness here that I'm going to split these single malt reports up over the next three days.

[Tuesday] Lowland style - Hazelburn 8 year old
[Wednesday] Campbeltown style - Springbank 10 year old 100 proof (actually 57.15% ABV!)
[Thursday] Islay style - Longrow CV (a mix of malts from 6-14 years)

Trailer Sunday: The Pirates! Band of Misfits

The last thing that the cinema needs right now is another pirate movie.  Another vampire movie wouldn't be bad as long as it references actual vampires, gives it an appropriate R-rated treatment, and treats the audience like grownups.  But pirates?  That shallow well was drained with the first Jack Sparrow film...

Oh look!  A new Aardman movie!  Yay!  Is it a Wallace and Gromit film?  No.  Is it a bunch of cheeky British animals going on an adventure of discovery?  No.  Is it a... Yes, it's a pirate film.

The good news is that first trailer is great.  It has a strange irreverent sense of humor, verbally and visually.  I actually wanted to see the film.  They sold me on a pirate film.



Then I saw the second trailer.  It takes everything that was fun about the first trailer and turns it into overbaked, unoriginal, heavy-handed crap.  "Dude" and gang signs and beep-beep and and "she's not fat, she's big boned" and monkeys and "Come on Feel the Noise".  I find it difficult to understand how anyone at Aardman thought that this was a good idea:



I mean, they sold it with the first trailer, then unsold it with the second.  Though it's difficult to be angry about the second trailer since it's more truthful, airing out the lame jokes.

Aardman has no interest in appealing to my demographic of one.  But they've built their brand on providing unique and original entertainment, and I don't see those qualities here.

To this I say bah humbug.

Thursday was L.A. Sports Day

Albert Pujols is taking his talents to Long Beach (adjacent).  As a Yankees fan, this provides no heartburn since the Yanks couldn't even beat the Angels before this.  As a baseball fan, I really dig this because now I can actually watch the sport's most exciting robot play every day!  If you don't think that he's a robot, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.  He broke his forearm last year and was back in the lineup two weeks later as noticeably a better player.  I'm just going to repeat that.  He broke his forearm.  He healed in less than two weeks.  Then he was an even better player.  That's what the media will tell you at least.  He didn't heal at all.  They just replaced The Albot v4.1 with The Albot v4.2.  I'm interested in how the v5.0 model will perform.

DEAR GOD, HE'S MONSTROUS!

The contract is daft.  Not the $254M.  Compared to other salaries out there and his actual value, the yearly salary is reasonable.  What's cracked is that it was for 10 years.  My qualms have nothing to do with the unsubstantiated rumors that he's been lying about his age.  Future Pujols models will be unable to play the field, so he'll be restricted to DH within six years; maybe fewer if he can do what Jeter can't and surrender the glove before the fielding gets embarrassing.  So, for most of the contract they'll have a part-time player (which is what a DH is, value-wise).  Hasn't baseball seen this happen before.  You know, recently.  This year.  Alex Rodriguez, anyone?

The Angels also picked up CJ Wilson for five years, $77.5M.  Wilson has been a starter for two years and is already 31.  I'm just happy the Yankees didn't pick him up.  The Angels will have great starting staff with Weaver and Haren and Wilson.

But they'll also have a 2012 payroll of over $180 million.  That means that we'll see at least three teams (Sawx, Anaheim, and Phils) in the $160-$180M range next year.  Meanwhile, the Yankees' payroll in 2012 will be what it was SEVEN YEARS AGO.  So I guess there will be four evil empires now.

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Tangent: Owner Jeffrey Loria busted out the once-a-decade Marlins Credit Card, signing Jose Reyes and Mark Bueller Buehrle to cushy multi-year deals.  This time he's gambling on a new stadium and swapping out the dreaded "Florida" for the less-dreaded "Miami" to bring in more fans.  Reyes is a great signing, as long as he's healthy.  We'll see if he brings in the local Dominican demographic that Loria desperately wants in his seats.  Buehrle, on the other hand, probably won't sell more tickets but should hang a couple more Ws up in the standings.  Still, these two guys aren't enough to take the NL East.  Even if Josh Johnson is healthy all year, they'll be lucky to tussle with Atlanta for the Wild Card.  And if DC's youth turn out to be half as good as the hype, the Marlins may not move anywhere in the standings.

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Tangent:  When I lumbered into the condo building's elevator this morning at 6:45am on the way to the gym, I was engulfed in the scents of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies AND brownies.  Then the doors closed and the elevator descended.  It was a pleasing experience.  As far as erotic sensory experiences go, it was a ★★★½.

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Tangent: iTunes awarded Tiny Tower as the best game app of 2011.  I have Tiny Tower.  It requires no skill and has not a hint of complexity.  And I don't mean that in a Zen way.  I mean that in a "barely holds your attention while you sit on the toilet" way.  I should know.

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The Lakers gave up Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom for CHRIS PAUL.  He gets all caps because he is awesome.  And there are rumors floating, like oh so many methane-loaded turds, about an LA-Orlando trade based around Andrew Bynum and Dwight Howard.  If that goes through, the Lakers will run the table...... for the regular season.  And the playoffs.

They don't even need Howard.  Even with Bonehead Bynum playing occasionally, the CP-Kobe duo is monstrous.  It's perfect if you think about it.  Kobe wants the ball on every single play and CP is the best passer in the game.  As you can tell, my knowledge of on-court strategy is vast.  Vast.

"Esta bien."

This a reverse-Sheffield situation for me.  In 2004, I was a Yankee fan, but could not stand Gary Sheffield.  And then they signed him.  There was a lot nose pinching when he came to the plate in pinstripes.

[Wow, now I'm remembering that Yankee team.  By 2005 they'd picked up Sheffield, Randy Johnson, and Kevin Brown.  F***.  I guess I was just rooting for the uniform.]

Conversely, I'm not a Lakers fan (Go Clips!).  But I am a Chris Paul fan.  I wish the Clippers had traded for him, but they have no good pieces to deal--

BREAKING NEWS! (okay, it was breaking news when I started writing this last night)  The majority of NBA owners have blocked the trade.  Wow, what has happened to David Stern?  He's more like Daniel Stern now.

Here's the scoop: The Hornets are owned by the NBA, which means that each team owner has an equal share in the ownership.  This was supposed to allow the Hornets' general manager to deal openly with other teams, like any other GM.  But because this hurt some billionaires' feelings, as there was worry about the Lakers carrying an all-star team, they shotblocked this deal.  Stern clearly has no control over the owners and he handled the lockout like a fool.

And now a classic snippet from this morning's media blitz:

"I don't want to speak on the basketball side, but that particular one was weighed against Chris Paul's continued presence in New Orleans," Stern said in New York at the NBA's offices.  

NBA spokesman Tim Frank said Thursday the deal was blocked for "basketball reasons." The league owns the Hornets and is trying to sell the club.

So, um.  What?  Yes, let's not speak about the basketball side since you're the commissioner of Whack-A-Mole.  But then your spokesperson said that the deal was blocked due to the basketball side.

Well done.  Keep up the good work.  And to conclude, "Morons. I've got morons on my team."