...where distraction is the main attraction.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

NOT Single Malt Report: Famous Grouse Blended Whisky

This is a grouse:
(Source)
This is Famous Grouse:
This is a grouse hugging a bottle of Famous Grouse:

Easy way to tell the difference:  In Scotland they shoot grouse.  But they sip Famous Grouse.

This is a grouse with braised cabbage:

Sorry, that was cheeky.

The red grouse is not in fact the national bird of Scotland -- that's the golden eagle -- though the Edrington Group tried to campaign for their whisky's bird during the voting in 2004.  But the red grouse is very prevalent in Scotland and very popular to bag on the hunt.  In fact the first day of the "shooting" season has been named The Glorious Twelfth (as in August 12th).

Anyway, whisky.

According to Charles MacLean's excellent Scotch Whisky: A Liquid History, The Famous Grouse blend was created by Matthew Gloag & Son Ltd around 1896 in Perth, Scotland.  Ownership and management remained in the family until the 1970s when Highland Distillers took over.  In the late 90s, a group led by Edrington purchased Highland Distillers.

Today, The Famous Grouse remains The Edrington Group's flagship brand.  It's amongst the top 10 best selling scotch blends in the world.  And it's been #1 in Scotland since 1980.

Its recipe include malts from Macallan, Highland Park, Glenrothes, and Glenturret (all Edrington properties).  Its visitor center resides at Glenturret's little distillery in Perthshire, but much of its blending occurs at Glenrothes.  They've now expanded the brand to Black Grouse (peated), Snow Grouse (blended grain), Naked Grouse (includes sherried Macallan and Highland Park), Gold Reserve (12 yr), and a pair of blended malts.

Distilleries: include Macallan, Highland Park, Glenrothes, and Glenturret
Type: Scotch Blended Whisky
Age: minimum 3 years
Alcohol by Volume: 40%

With so many potentially nice ingredients in The Famous Grouse, I don't know why I waited so long to try it out.  Though a full bottling of this may be in my future, I picked up a 50mL mini to give it a spin...

NEAT:
The color is a darker gold than most blends, approaching a maple syrup hue, likely due to caramel colouring.  The nose is full of oak, maybe a touch of sherry and dried fruit, vanilla bean, soil, and cinnamon.  The texture is very soft and creamy.  A decent palate with almost no cheap grain notes.  Instead there's vanilla, coconut, custard, and sugar cookies.  It finishes sweetly, molasses and caramel, much more pleasant than most blends I've tried.

Maybe this is mental shorthand, but the Grouse is remarkably similar to the Macallan 10yr Sherry Oak I'd tried in the UK.  Slightly simpler and weaker, but...

WITH WATER:
The nose becomes prune-ish, dusty, oaky, with some sulphur sneaking in.  Seems like water stirs up the sherry wood.  The palate stays sweet and creamy with vanilla and salt.  It finishes quietly with more of the vanilla and salt.

I'm going to double-down and say that it now noses like that Mac 10 Sherry.

HIGHBALL:
Keeps some of the character through the club soda and ice.  It's a little buttery, some grain whisky slips through, as well as some caramel.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Last year, I brought back a mini of the Mac 10 Sherry from the UK.  When I'd polished it off I didn't take any notes, but I was surprised at how sleepy it was for a young whisky, and how significantly less exciting it was than the 12yr.

In the UK, Famous Grouse sells for half the price of Mac 10, but it has enough similarities to make it a frugal alternative.

What I like about Famous Grouse is that it tastes less of cheap grain whisky than most sub-$20 blends I've tried.  Its malt content holds up much better.  I know "Wow, It's Okay!" won't make for a good marketing blurb, but it's a full step more enjoyable than any of the blended scotches that I've reviewed this month (up to this point).

Trader Joes has a one liter bottle of it selling for $19.99.  I'm intrigued.

Availability - Wide, though much wider in the UK
Pricing - Good at $18-$20
Rating - 74

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Flailing Writer Goes Gardening (part two)


Gardening update!

Parsley --  Rather unhappy plant.  Either it didn't like my planting job or disapproves of its place in the sun.  Or it wasn't cared for well at its previous destination.  All or most of its original foliage was dead within two weeks.  BUT!  All new healthier looking limbs have grown in since.  Perhaps its temper is improving?


Chives -- Besieged with black aphids.


I mean totally covered.


Happened within the last couple of days.  I will try the ol' soapy water spray attack tonight.

Basil -- Still sad, but not dead!

Oregano -- Healthy and under control.

Thyme -- Grew like crazy.  Started to flower.  Kristen and I lopped off the flowers.  Hopefully it hasn't gone to seed...

Cilantro -- Holy mole sauce!  It's fro'ed out!  We have to keep trimming it back.  Totally awesome.


Pepper -- New leaves are slowly sprouting all over.


Zucchini -- Like the cilantro, it has taken well to the balcony.  Tons of big beautiful leaves.  Perhaps some blossoms coming through.


Tomato Plant tips:
1.)  Keep an eye (and a finger) on the soil.  These guys get very very thirsty.  I don't think I've been watering them enough.  I'm starting them on a daily watering regimen as of today.


2.)  Put your stakes or cage in the ground BEFORE the plant starts getting big.  I did not do this.  Getting the cages in and around the plants wasn't fun.  A limb or two were lost.

3.)  Prune the suckers!


These little branches sprout up from the crotch of two normal branches.  They don't fruit, thus they suck away precious goodness that should be going to the tomatoes and blossoms.  Pluck them off with your fingers.

4.)  Also remove any and all stems near the soil.  This will help prevent bacteria and fungus from spreading up the plant.

5.)  Wash your hands afterwards.  As great as tomato plants smell, they're poisonous.



Who knows what awaits in Part Three???

Monday, May 14, 2012

NOT Single Malt Report: Lauder's Blended Scotch Whisky

I know that you've checked out those lower lower lower shelf whiskys when no one's looking --  Dunlivet, Scoresby, Clan MacGregor -- thinking, "How bad can whisky in a big green plastic bottle be?"  But you never manned-up because you value your life.

I, on the other hand......well, one thirsty afternoon I spotted a mini of a particular scotch blend for ONE DOLLAR AND FORTY-NINE CENTS.  Like I'm not going to buy that.

So when you look at the bottom whisky shelf and wonder, "What can I buy for $10???"...... Here's an answer.

Lauder's!
Swanky-looking UK bottle
US Ad Sheet

Brand: Lauder's
Ownership: Sazerac Company (formerly Barton Imports)
Distilleries: ???
Type: Scotch Blended Whisky
Age: 36 months
Alcohol by Volume: 40%

I've combed the Internet and searched through all of my books, but I can't say I've found much on Lauder's or Barton Imports.  Sazerac Co. bought Barton's a few years back and seems to specialize in plastic-bottled booze.  See their product lineup here.

The Lauder's bottle brags about the following:
"Highest Awards, Gold Medal, Paris 1878"
"Gold Medal, Chicago 1893"
"Gold Medal, Edinburgh 1886"

Note that's 1878, 1886, and 1893.  Most of the distilleries from that era are no longer in existence, thus the current blend recipe likely doesn't resemble the one from 134 years ago.  Also the malt content in inexpensive blends is likely at an all-time low.

BUT just because they have a completely different blend now, bottled in green plastic, selling for $9.99 doesn't necessarily mean that it's terrible.  It's just not going to win any awards in Edinburgh in 2012.

Also, this is cute:

So with a lack of accessible data, I'm going to go straight to what counts.  The sensory experience.

NEAT:
Color -- Light Gold
Nose -- Decent, moderate molasses, vanilla, caramel sauce, a hint of spearmint
Palate -- Cheap vodka kick, must have come from some seriously overused oak, a little vanilla, angel food cake
Finish -- Quiet, furry (to use a Jim Murray adjective), sweet cream, but mostly bitter

WITH WATER:
Nose -- Muted, mellow, like over-watered Glenfiddich 12, more grains jump out
Palate -- Light vanilla & caramel, not hideous
Finish -- That kick of cheap vodka again, otherwise silent

HIGHBALL:
Palate -- Buttery, some coconut

Overall, it's surprisingly harmless and better than I'd expected.  Probably better than some blends twice its price.  I'm looking at you, Cutty.  The odd Popov-Vodka-style palate characteristic and the dead finish keep it from being a surprise winner, but this is by no means crummy.  Ultimately, it's probably best for mixing since the nose is reasonable and the palate is mostly mild.  And it's $10.

Availability - Many liquor stores, often in the bad part of town
Pricing - Good at $9-$11
Rating - 70

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sunday Ramblings

From 10am to 10pm, yesterday, we painted the living room and dining room.  Two coats, looking good.  My lower back and right index finger are sore and brain is mushy.  To celebrate the finished product, I opened a bottle of Oban 14yr that I'd purchased a half year ago.  An old fave, the Oban hit the spot (though it's seriously over-colored) and I was asleep after one dram.

In the very near future I'll be putting some posts about all of the fix-its that we've done around here.  The visuals have changed for the better.



A beautiful piece of street art by Escif in Poland.





Kristen and I have been watching tons of NBA Playoff action -- much more interesting than regular season baseball, I'm sad to say.  I'm having a difficult time seeing anything but a Heat-versus-Thunder (how about that for team names?) Finals.  Those two teams will have to do themselves in; no one else has been putting up consistent offense or defense.

And the LA teams?  Not inspiring.  It would have been nice to have a Staples Center-based Western Conference Championship series, but there are other pipe-dreams that I value more.

But still, Go Clips......?

Friday, May 11, 2012

Lube This


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

This is a violation of whiskey. And of d*ck.

Does someone out there really want their parts to taste like Jack Daniels? Or on the other side of things, why does someone want to taste that down there? And how is it possible that one's area tastes worse than Old Number 7?  Old Number 2 is more like it--

NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE GO TO A DOCTOR NO NO NO NO NO NO--

*catches breath*

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO--

--maybe if it was Macallan Fine Oak (GET IT?!) then there could be a reasonable--

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

I'm just bitter that someone thought of this before me.

(Many thanks to Johnnie Mundell Depp.)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

NOT Single Malt Report: Michael Collins Irish Blended Whiskey

"THE BIG FELLOW"

Distillery: Cooley
Brand: Michael Collins
Type: Irish Blended Whiskey
Current Owner: Beam Inc.
Age: 4 to 12 years
Maturation: bourbon-seasoned American Oak
Alcohol by Volume: 40%
This actually the old bottle, but it's tall and lean;
plus it matches my mini bottle
Named after one of the leading figures in Ireland's successful struggle for independence and the first chairman of their provisional government until his assassination in 1922 (How about that for a run-on fragment; large as the man himself), Michael Collins Irish Blended Whiskey has a make-up similar to a Scotch blend.

The vast majority of Irish blends contain a portion of triple-distilled pot still whiskey (from a mash of malted and unmalted barley) and grain whiskey.  Like a Scotch blend, Michael Collins is a mix of double-distilled single malt and grain whiskey.

The Cooley distillery specializes in single malts as opposed to the single pot still whiskey coming from the Midleton distillery.  They make a number of very different single malts (two reported on here and here), from the Connemara peated brands to the unpeated finished Tyrconnell whiskies to a Michael Collins 10 year old to a number of small independent bottlings.

So this blend is structurally different that Powers, Jamesons, Paddy, and Tullamore Dew.  Is it better or worse or similar...?

NEAT:
Color -- Light brass
Nose -- Bananas, paste, flatulence (not petrol gas and not sulphur but really farty, unmistakable), burnt caramelized brown sugar, ethyl, notebook paper, and wood grain
Palate -- Pears, whipped cream, burnt toast, vanilla, very sweet
Finish -- Vanilla and fruit sweets, but also brief and salty

WITH WATER:
Nose -- Ethyl and notebook paper are all that remain
Palate -- Lots of vanilla, sweetened whole milk or perhaps vanilla yogurt?, toffee
Finish -- Short, but noticeable toffee and vanilla

The nose is a bit difficult, but the palate is nice.  Very easy drinking.  I just don't recommend putting your nose too far into the glass.  This is something I'm finding with most of the young inexpensive Irish blends. Their flavor is considerably more delightful than their scent, no matter how they're constructed.

So if you're not getting all hoity-toity with your booze and just want something that works well when it hits your lips, Michael Collins isn't a bad choice.  It holds water decently, and might (might) stand up to a highball or mixing due to its sweetness.

Availability - Most liquor stores
Pricing - Decent at $24-$30
Rating - 75

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Loch Ness and I

This may seem a random thing to post on a Yank's website, but:


To explain:

The Howling Drunkards of Loch Ness
I drank a lot of lager at Fiddler's, 9 1/2 years ago, when I was drifting aimlessly through the West Highlands.  I stayed in Drumnadrochit for three nights at a hostel nearby (Loch Ness Backpackers!).  I remember the rain, the curled-horned Scottish Blackface rams, a pair of motionless Highland coos, a private tour of Nessie's favourite appearances.

I made my trip to that part of the world as I was struggling through some considerable personal turmoil. I wasn't going there for the whisky.  I was going there because it was not here.

And there I was, one late afternoon, walking through the tiny town.  Through farmland.  Through the forest that led to the River Ness.  I got lost.  Very lost.  The kind of lost wherein nothing around even sounds or smells familiar.

Being physically lost really shaves away the bullshit.  All those lies you tell yourself in order to get by day-to-day scurry away leaving you pretty much naked to the present.  The turmoil from home was still with me, heavy around my heart.

Rain whooshed in.  The wind awoke suddenly.  Somehow I heard the sound of the river and followed it.  I sat at the edge of the water, soaked, lost, and confused.  I was okay with never getting up again, never going back anywhere to anything.

In the downpour at a riverside next to a fallen tree five-thousand one-hundred miles from home, I was allowed a bright beacon of clarity.  I don't know where it came from nor why.  Most people pray an awful lot before being granted this sort of light.  I was able to let go of the massive weight of my self pity.  And that in turn released me to start the next chapter of my life.  I found my way back through the forest without trouble or despair.

Anyway, Fiddler's has a whisky festival.  It's this weekend and it's all good things from great distilleries.  And it's a ridiculous bargain.  Zipping around the water looking for Nessie then having a whisky at Urquart Castle followed by a hot meal...

Sounds pretty good right now.