Odious Oscar noms (2012 edition)

I'm going to do as little griping about this year's nominations (listed below my opines) as possible...

Best Picture - Thankfully the Academy changed the rules for this award, stating that there would no longer be ten required nominations.  Only films receiving 5% of first place votes in the nomination process would be nominated.

Be sure to note the time so that you can
fire up "Super Troopers" on Netflix instead.

So we've got nine nominees.  BIG improvement.  Why should a film that only 1 out of 20 Academy members deem the best receive a nomination?  Why should it share the ticket with the film that gets 50% of the votes?  More importantly, it would be much appreciated by EVERYONE if they released the actual voting results.  Everyone except for the producers of the film that got 5%, I suppose.

I'm a bit shocked by all of "Moneyball"'s nominations.  As a baseball stat freak and a film nerd, I enjoyed it thoroughly.  A good smart piece of entertainment.  But a Best Picture nominee?  It's good but not that good.

"The Tree of Life" is that good.  I'm very happy to see the Academy nominating non-linear avant-garde cinema.

"Midnight in Paris" is dynamic and electric in the time travel scenes yet flat and shallow in the contemporary ones.  But we fans of the film can't get those great scenes with Hemmingway and Dali out of our heads.

"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" was liked by no one.  Not many folks are seeing it and it had the worst critical response of any nominee in HISTORY (per Metacritic scores).  Even Rupert Murdoch's New York Post thought it was exploitative pablum.

Ultimately, though it looks like a battle between "The Artist" and "Hugo", two cinema-loving pieces of cinema.  Could be much much worse.

Best Director - I love that lineup.  The Academy will never nominate Lars Von Trier out of fear of what he'll say and do.

Acting Awards - Jonah Hill?  Really?  He was quite solid but it wasn't that complicated or demanding or interesting of a role.  On the other hand, Brad Pitt was great in "Moneyball" and "The Tree of Life". 

It's nice to see Jessica Chastain nominated, but for "The Help" and not "Tree of Life"?  The Academy again proves it likes EXTREMELY LOUD rather than incredibly close when it comes to performances.

Foreign Language Films - Damn, I should watch these.

Feature Animation - Many thanks to Pixar for releasing "Cars 2".

Feature Documentary - This is where I get angry.  Breathe slowly and deeply.  Okay.

I am very happy to see Wenders's "Pina" on the list.

I'm just going to assume that "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" and "Nostalgia for the Light" weren't submitted to the Academy this year.  Or is it because they're not American docs?  Herzog's "Cave" was an enormously important piece of cinema that beautifully documented a pivotal moment in human intellectual and artistic development.  And it's the best use of 3D that I've seen yet.  And "Nostalgia" was not only just beautiful and educational, but it was deeply emotional and perfectly paced; the best film I saw outside of "Tree of Life".  Neither of these films (along with Herzog's "Into the Abyss" and Morris's "Tabloid") even made the 15-film shortlist.  I have nothing nice to say about that.

Writing - Good to see Sorkin on there because he's a ninja.  I'm glad that Beau Willimon got nominated.  It was his script "Farragut North" that Clooney's company had purchased, then tweaked into "Ides of March".  I liked "Farragut"; very Washington insidery and wonky.

"Extremely 9/11 & Incredibly Hanks" did not get a writing nomination.  Neither did "The Help".  Yet both picked up best picture nominations.  I'd go into a diatribe about them not deserving a Best Pic pick if they can't get a Writing pick, but then again "The Tree of Life" didn't get nominated for Best Original Screenplay.  Apparently a volume of poetry about God cannot compete with a woman taking a sh*t in a wedding dress.

Thanks again, Academy!

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Best Picture

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) A La Petite Reine/Studio 37/La Classe Américaine/JD Prod/France3 Cinéma/Jouror Productions/uFilm Production, Thomas Langmann, Producer
• “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight) An Ad Hominem Enterprises Production, Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers
• “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” (Warner Bros.) A Warner Bros. Pictures Production, Scott Rudin, Producer
• “The Help” (Touchstone) A DreamWorks Pictures Production, Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers
• “Hugo” (Paramount) A Paramount Pictures and GK Films Production, Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers
• “Midnight in Paris” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Pontchartrain Production, Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers
• “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing) A Columbia Pictures Production, Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers
• “The Tree of Life” (Fox Searchlight) A River Road Entertainment Production, Nominees to be determined
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) A DreamWorks Pictures Production, Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers

Directing

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Michel Hazanavicius
• “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight) Alexander Payne
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Martin Scorsese
• “Midnight in Paris” (Sony Pictures Classics) Woody Allen
• “The Tree of Life” (Fox Searchlight) Terrence Malick

Actor in a Leading Role

• Demián Bichir in “A Better Life” (Summit Entertainment)
• George Clooney in “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight)
• Jean Dujardin in “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company)
• Gary Oldman in “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” (Focus Features)
• Brad Pitt in “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing)

Actor in a Supporting Role

• Kenneth Branagh in “My Week with Marilyn” (The Weinstein Company)
• Jonah Hill in “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing)
• Nick Nolte in “Warrior” (Lionsgate)
• Christopher Plummer in “Beginners” (Focus Features)
• Max von Sydow in “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” (Warner Bros.)

Actress in a Leading Role

• Glenn Close in “Albert Nobbs” (Roadside Attractions)
• Viola Davis in “The Help” (Touchstone)
• Rooney Mara in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Sony Pictures Releasing)
• Meryl Streep in “The Iron Lady” (The Weinstein Company)
• Michelle Williams in “My Week with Marilyn” (The Weinstein Company)

Actress in a Supporting Role

• Bérénice Bejo in “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company)
• Jessica Chastain in “The Help” (Touchstone)
• Melissa McCarthy in “Bridesmaids” (Universal)
• Janet McTeer in “Albert Nobbs” (Roadside Attractions)
• Octavia Spencer in “The Help” (Touchstone)

Animated Feature Film

• “A Cat in Paris” (GKIDS) Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli
• “Chico & Rita” (GKIDS) Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal
• “Kung Fu Panda 2” (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount) Jennifer Yuh Nelson
• “Puss in Boots” (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount) Chris Miller
• “Rango” (Paramount) Gore Verbinski

Foreign Language Film

• “Bullhead” A Savage Film Production, Belgium
• “Footnote” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Footnote Limited Partnership Production, Israel
• “In Darkness” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Studio Filmowe Zebra Production, Poland
• “Monsieur Lazhar” (Music Box Films) A micro_scope Production, Canada
• “A Separation” (Sony Pictures Classics) A Dreamlab Films Production, Iran

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

• “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight) Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Screenplay by John Logan
• “The Ides of March” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
• “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin Story by Stan Chervin
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” (Focus Features) Screenplay by Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan

Writing (Original Screenplay)

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Written by Michel Hazanavicius
• “Bridesmaids” (Universal) Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
• “Margin Call” (Roadside Attractions) Written by J.C. Chandor
• “Midnight in Paris” (Sony Pictures Classics) Written by Woody Allen
• “A Separation” (Sony Pictures Classics) Written by Asghar Farhadi

Art Direction

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Production Design: Laurence Bennett, Set Decoration: Robert Gould
• “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” (Warner Bros.) Production Design: Stuart Craig, Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Production Design: Dante Ferretti, Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
• “Midnight in Paris” (Sony Pictures Classics) Production Design: Anne Seibel, Set Decoration: Hélène Dubreuil
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) Production Design: Rick Carter, Set Decoration: Lee Sandales

Cinematography

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Guillaume Schiffman
• “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Jeff Cronenweth
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Robert Richardson
• “The Tree of Life” (Fox Searchlight) Emmanuel Lubezki
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) Janusz Kaminski

Costume Design

• “Anonymous” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Lisy Christl
• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Mark Bridges
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Sandy Powell
• “Jane Eyre” (Focus Features) Michael O’Connor
• “W.E.” (The Weinstein Company) Arianne Phillips

Documentary (Feature)

• “Hell and Back Again” (Docurama Films) A Roast Beef Limited Production, Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner
• “If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front” (Oscilloscope Laboratories) A Marshall Curry Production, Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman
• “Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory” An @radical.media Production, Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky
• “Pina” (Sundance Selects) A Neue Road Movies Production, Wim Wenders and Gian-Piero Ringel
• “Undefeated” (The Weinstein Company) A Spitfire Pictures Production, TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay and Richard Middlemas

Documentary (Short Subject)

• “The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement” A Purposeful Production, Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin
• “God Is the Bigger Elvis” A Documentress Films Production, Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson
• “Incident in New Baghdad” A Morninglight Films Production, James Spione
• “Saving Face” A Milkhaus/Jungefilm Production, Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy
• “The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom” A Supply & Demand Integrated Production, Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen

Film Editing

• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius
• “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight) Kevin Tent
• “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Thelma Schoonmaker
• “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Christopher Tellefsen

Makeup

• “Albert Nobbs” (Roadside Attractions) Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle
• “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” (Warner Bros.) Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin
• “The Iron Lady” (The Weinstein Company) Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland

Music (Original Score)

• “The Adventures of Tintin” (Paramount) John Williams
• “The Artist” (The Weinstein Company) Ludovic Bource
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Howard Shore
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” (Focus Features) Alberto Iglesias
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) John Williams

Music (Original Song)

• “Man or Muppet” from “The Muppets” (Walt Disney) Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
• “Real in Rio” from “Rio” (20th Century Fox) Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Short Film (Animated)

• “Dimanche/Sunday” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production, Patrick Doyon
• “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore” A Moonbot Studios LA Production, William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg
• “La Luna” (Walt Disney) A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Enrico Casarosa
• “A Morning Stroll” (Studio AKA) A Studio AKA Production, Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe
• “Wild Life” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production, Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby

Short Film (Live Action)

• “Pentecost” (Network Ireland Television) An EMU Production, Peter McDonald and Eimear O’Kane
• “Raju” A Hamburg Media School/Filmwerkstatt Production, Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren
• “The Shore” An All Ashore Production, Terry George and Oorlagh George
• “Time Freak” A Team Toad Production, Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey
• “Tuba Atlantic” (Norsk Filminstitutt) A Norwegian Film School/Den Norske Filmskolen Production, Hallvar Witzø

Sound Editing

• “Drive” (FilmDistrict) Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis
• “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Ren Klyce
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty
• “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (Paramount) Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom

Sound Mixing

• “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (Sony Pictures Releasing) David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Tom Fleischman and John Midgley
• “Moneyball” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick
• “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (Paramount) Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin
• “War Horse” (Touchstone) Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson

Visual Effects

• “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” (Warner Bros.) Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson
• “Hugo” (Paramount) Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning
• “Real Steel” (Touchstone) Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg
• “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” (20th Century Fox) Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett
• “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (Paramount) Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier

Metaphor of the week: The baby porcupine and the mug

I've struggled with Story on many of my writing projects, but last week was terrible.  Almost terrifying.

I'd like to think I'm fairly decent at the screenwriting process.  I've been doing it for many years on many many projects.  I know that working the story through usually takes shape in the form of a puzzle.  And I work on it and work on it and work on it, then I move on to the next step.

But last week, ugh.  I woke up every day facing a project that I couldn't crack.  The puzzle had become multi-dimensional, its instructions in a language not yet invented.  Every day.  Going at the problem from multiple directions.  Deconstruct, reconstruct, visualize, literalize, simplify, expand.  Silence.  Panic.  Try again.  Try again.  Try again.  Weeks like that shake one's confidence in one's ability, skill, and general mental acuity.

But this is a new week now.  I look forward to new and better challenges.  And I can look back with some objectivity thanks to this video which clearly illustrates my last week of writing.  A baby porcupine's breakfast sits at the bottom of a mug...


(Discovered via The Daily What)

Single Malt Report: Bidding Bye-Bye to a Bowmore Bottle

My favorite new single malt that I tried last year was the Bowmore 16yr 1994 Signatory bottling that I'd purchased at Royal Mile Whiskies (London) last May.

I completed the bottle on Friday to celebrate the end of a crummy week.  There was one (sizable) drink left in it:

Because the bottle had been open for about eight months, the whisky had plenty of time to settle and because it was less-than-half-full for at least three months, there was a chance for oxidation to set in and change (some say ruin) the whisky.  So, this final drink would also be a chance to document the flavor changes caused by these chemical reactions.

Here is a recap of my notes from early October:

Color - between ginger ale and chardonnay
Nose - (neat) softly peated, medicinal/band-aids (but less so than Laphroaig), cowhide leather; (w/water) peat and medicine fade, but menthol moves forward
Palate - (neat) Peaty but smoothly so, light cream and sweet potatoes; (w/water) Peat smoke
Finish - (neat) hot stuff, cayenne pepper hot, lingers and lingers and lingers; (w/water) cools down, black peppery

I enjoyed it because the elements were so well integrated into the whole.  It actually taught my taste buds how to like peat.

---

Now at the tail end of the bottle, eight months after it was opened, it had clearly transformed into a whole new creature.  Now keep in mind, I only drank it neatly, but did so over a period of 60 minutes.

The color remained the same.  Thank goodness.  I'd be worried if that had changed.
The nose had grown, if you will.  It was spirity and grassy.  Sea air had joined the soft peat and band-aids.  It was oakier, some burning paper.  Around the edges there was some rotting fruit sugars as well.
But all of that did not prepare me for the flavor.
The palate was enormous.  Barbecued peat and barbecued seaweed were massively upfront.  Something like salted pork, too, and maybe maybe some weed (if I knew what weed tasted like...).
The finish was sweeter than the palate.  Some of that BBQ lingered, but there was regular peat smoke too.  It was very dry, very vegetal.

Wow, it had really changed!  It's not just my developing taste buds.  The nose was softer.  The palate was rougher.  The finish was drier.  It had developed a completely different character than any other Bowmore that I've tried.  It was like an Arbeg, but barbecue as opposed to soot.

Very complex and enjoyable.  It was an excellent final act.

(ratings remain the same)
Pricing - Bargain at $70
Rating - 93

Single Malt Report: Two quickies about a pair of sweeties

Most bars seem to come with a "Whisky Kit": Glenlivet 12, Macallan 12, Chivas, and Red & Black Label.  But sometimes on nights when I'm out and about, I'm blessed by the Whisky Spirits to find a bottling I've never tried before.  I grab that glass, head to a quiet spot, and do my best Whisky-Nerd-nose-in-the-glass routine.  I type notes into my turrible Blackberry and then try to figure them out the next day.

Eating establishments and places that serve whisky in wide mouth tumblers ain't the money spots for proper nosing/tasting notes.  But, you know, it's whisky.  No, even better, it's new whisky.

Here are two new whisky experiences that I had amidst good nights out.

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#1 - Oban Distillers Edition 1993

I had this on the Westside (LA) on June 16th last year.  I'm a serious fan of Oban 14yr, so I promise to do a report on it during this calendar year.  At that point, I'll provide the full rundown on the Oban distillery.

It was nice to see this bottling.  And I really had no idea what to expect.

Distillery: Oban (yay!)
Bottling: Distillers Edition (1993/2008)
Age: minimum 15 years
Maturation: Montilla Fino fortified sherry cask
Region: Highlands (Western)
Alcohol by Volume: 43%

Oban takes their lovely malty malt and finishes it in a very rich sherry cask, creating a thick desserty whisky.  Diageo releases one of these Oban limited special editions almost every year, right now their DE is a 1996.

This is one of the darkest whiskies I've seen.  That photo above doesn't do it justice.  The color is a dark mahogany, almost cherrywood.  The nose is nutty, toffee-ish, big on the sherry.  Has a hefty texture.  The palate -- miles and miles away from the 14 year -- caramel hard candies, more sherry, lots of amaretto, and dried fruit.  A great long finish with the amaretto (with maybe a pinch of salt?) holding out the whole way through.

My notes show that I only had it neat, so I can recommend having it that way.  It's a heavier malt than the 14yr, so this would work better as a digestif rather than an aperitif.

Pricing - Acceptable at $90-$100 (oddly it's cheaper to buy it from the UK and have it shipped)

Rating - 84

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#2 - North of Scotland Single Grain Whisky 1964 (bottled by Scott's Selection)

(Please note: You can find a second, updated report on this whisky here.)

SURPRISE!!! A single grain whisky.  And yes, you read that right, a 1964.

So why haven't I been shouting from the rooftops about the miraculous god I found in a class of 43-year-old whisky?  Well, there's kind of a reason why a 43yr grain whisky sells for less than 1/10th of a 43yr malt whisky.  And also a reason why I got it for EIGHT DOLLARS a glass.

The industrial continuous column still distillation process doesn't create whiskies with complex consistencies.  Nor is it intended to.  I'm not saying that grain whisky is usually filler for blends, but it's supposed to be a mellower milder fluid ready to be used in mass quantities at 3 years of age.  A micro fraction of grain whiskies turn out to be decent on their own so they're racked up in a cask to age.  (For some more whisky edjuhcation please see my recent Whisky 101 post.)

This whisky from the North of Scotland distillery was one of those deemed consumable.

Distillery: North of Scotland
Bottler: Scott's Selection
Age: 43 years (1964/2007)
Maturation: Bourbon cask
Region: Highlands (Southern)
Alcohol by Volume: 44.7%

The North of Scotland distillery was built in 1957, closed in 1980, dismantled in 1993.  It was originally built to distill malt whisky via the Coffey column stills.  Apparently that wasn't very successful because they switched to grain whisky two years later.  After its closing the distillery building became a storage house for the Cambus (also grain whisky, also now out of order) distillery.

How about this old dram?  It's like a soft sweet light-bodied bourbon.  The color is dark, though not as dark as the pic above shows.  The nose was the best part, like rich vanilla ice cream.  The palate was vanilla bean, chocolate, almonds, and (maybe?) coconut milk.  The words read more exciting than the whisky tastes, mostly because the finish was oddly brief.

Honestly, the Redbreast 12 I had that night blew this grain whisky out of the water.  BUT, this old brown stuff ain't bad.  I might even go back to the Long Beach pub that had served it to see if they have any left, then do a slower tasting.  Again, $8 for a whisky that was distilled during LBJ's first administration...

Pricing - Good at $150-$160 (a 1964 Springbank costs $2000, a 1964 Highland Park costs $5000)

Rating - 77

The Rodeo Clown

This:



Happy Thursday!

The things I collect

Yesterday I had 60 T-Shirts.  60.  We have our own washer & dryer.  There are 7 days in a week.  60 T-Shirts.  I threw away 10 and that was a chore.  I won't even tell you what the sock drawer looked like.

To be fair (to who? myself?) a third of those Ts were for the gym.  For those folks who don't know, after I exercise I look like I've just jumped in the pool with my clothes on.  So I set aside specific Ts for that abuse.  About 16.

Clearly, I like T-shirts, but there's more to it than that.  I collect things, often without knowing it.  There's a genuine Hoarder gene in my family so I have to be on the lookout for signs of its prevalence in me.

The act of accumulating non-perishable consumer goods outside of wartime is connected to other existing human psychological complexities.  Don DeLillo might say that it's part of our desire to postpone death.  Freud would probably agree then loop in issues with libido.  Jung might reference a disconnection with a spiritual center.  Psych 101 would likely suggest depression or repression; holding onto physical things provides the illusion of control.  A good communist scholar could say that it's one of the end results of capitalism, the unnecessary and imbalanced accumulation of goods.

So here are some things that I may or may not have collected:

Yes - T-Shirts.  I'm now down to 50.  In my defense, 16 are for workouts only (as mentioned above).  I can't wear those out into public because after a couple of hours The Ghost of Sweat Past haunts them.  8 more are white undershirts for winter or work wear.  Another 6 are long sleeve Ts.  That leaves 20 normal-wear short sleeve Ts.  In my defense, I live in Southern California so it is T-shirt weather for seven (or more) months of the year.  Thus one T a day for about three weeks.  Not in my defense, we do have that washer and dryer inside our condo...

No - Canned food goods.  We eat them within two weeks after buying them.

No - Boxed food goods.  I don't even buy 'em.

Yes - Baseball cards.  I had 22,000.  Now I have 5,000.  See here for my considerable efforts to rid myself of the 17,000.  I started collecting cards in 1985.  I stopped in 1993.  Then a haze of depression reignited this flame from 2001-2003 as I sought something that I could control.  That was an illusion, I never had control <-- to paraphrase Jurassic Park.  I stopped collecting permanently because I wanted to be more mobile, not wanting to haul countless boxes of cardboard behind me wherever I went.

No - Toilet paper.  We may buy big packs of it, but it is used and flushed with regularity.

Yes - Books.  Every few years I go through my shelves packing a box of books to go to a donation center.  I don't buy too many books anymore, but the shelves keep filling up past the bursting point.  Maybe the books are breeding.  The thing is, I'm not reading all of them right now.  I couldn't possibly read all of them again in this lifetime.  So why are they there?  To make me look cultured?

Yes - Movies.  First it was VHS tapes.  Then it was DVDs.  I have a 7-foot shelf packed solidly with the thin rectangle cases.  It used to be something I could be proud of.  My collection is of nothing but the best.  But with digital video on the rise, and constantly getting better quality-wise, the collection is beginning to look like an anchor rather than a creative skiff.

No - Wives.

No - Cats.  But to be honest, I understand The Cat Lady.  Go ahead, walk into a pound.  See the dozens of caged little domesticated animals who are there through no fault of their own.  Dozens of clean, self-reliant little buddhas who will die if I don't adopt them all.  Go ahead, pick just one.  Or two.  Or three.

Yes, sorta - Coins.  I wasn't responsible for their collection.  They're from family and old family friends.  It's a very impressive lot.  It's swell to have stuff from the 19th century.  Money that's been in America longer than my family has.  I don't add to the collection, but I do keep it.  It weighs about 50 pounds.  It's odd and hideous to move.

Yes - CDs.  Dear G-d, I've been trying to move these things out of my home.  Every CD that has intact liner notes and cover has been shuttled out to Amoeba in exchange for store credit.  But I still have 200-300 of 'em.  They've all been digitized, but I don't have any of the stuff that came with them.  So they sit, lined up like cells in a silent organism.  I will seriously sell them all for $200 (or best offer).

Yes - Items in my Amazon "Saved for Later" cart.  Yep.  Guilty as charged.  That's more an act of sloth than any sign of neurosis.  Right?

"No."

No - Stamps.  Never understood the need to collect these things.  Probably healthy.

No - Video games.  Probably healthy.

Yes - All of my hand-written writing.  And...

Yes - Printouts of every draft of every script.  I'm sure this stuff can really be disposed of, but part of me can't let go.  I created it, now I'm going to throw it away?  What kind of parent would I be?  A parent of paper, I guess.

No - Shoes.  Can't afford to keep buying new ones.  The old ones look and smell bad.

Yes - Photos.  I think I can defend this as a human thing.

Yes - Receipts.  I can't defend this as a human thing.  More of a financial thing.  Luckily, I part with a pile every year.

No - Scalps.

No - Recipes.  Though I probably should.  They don't take up much room.

Yes - Internet Bookmarks.  Holy Sh*t!  I have hundreds of them!  What are these sites?  When did I go there?  Why did I go there?  Why did I think that I would need to go back there again?

Maybe - Whiskies.  I can't afford to collect whisky.  But if I could, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. And...And...And in defense: Whisky can be consumed.  Whisky can be shared.  And then bottles can be replaced by new ones!  Sweet!  Oh wait, that's just my fantasy.  In reality, yes, I have twelve bottles.  Soon to be eleven.  As mentioned in my year in whisky post, I'm not trying to make money from them.  And I'm not saving them until eternity.  But I spent some good money on them.  And I don't drink to excess.  So they'll last a little while.  And occasionally gain neighbors.

I guess that's it, though I'm sure Kristen could enumerate those I've missed.  Moving from home to home puts one's collection habits in check......depending on the size of the home.  We've been living in apartments and condos, and we pay professional movers to haul our stuff, and I'm married to a woman who dislikes clutter.  Thus I have the motivation to reduce.  So, I feel like the collection gene is in control.  For now.

Single Malt Report: Laphroaig Quarter Cask

How about some whisky?  How about some great f**king whisky?  Let's talk about some Laphroaig Quarter Cask.

Laphroaig (le-froyg) and I have had a checkered past, as documented in my report on the 10 year old.  But we've been on good terms since we were reunited last year.  So I thought I'd explore the range a little further.

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A quick recap of the distillery's history:
Sometime around 1815 the Johnston Brothers started distilling whisky from the barley on their property near Loch Laphroaig (the actual meaning and source of the word is disputed).  Ownership was passed down through the Johnston family for a long time.

[The Laphroaig website claims that there was a running dispute between their distillery and their neighbors, Lagavulin, throughout the 1800s.  I hope that's true, because that would be great!  I'd root for both sides.]

Ian Hunter, a relative of the Johnstons, continued running the family business from 1921 until 1954, when he died without any heirs.  So he did the unthinkable.  He left the distillery to his secretary, Bessie Williamson.  A Woman!!!  Bessie ran the place for the next 18 years, almost doubling Laphroaig's capacity and output.

She then sold the business to Long John International (real name), who then sold it to Allied Domecq in 1990.  In 2005, Laphroaig was acquired by its current owners Beam Global.

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A few years ago, the distillery started to experiment with recreating the maturation process that they'd used in the 1800s.  That required the whisky to age in smaller traditional barrels called Quarter Casks.  The casks are considerably smaller than the normal casks used for maturation.  Because of their size, the whisky inside makes 30% more contact with the oak, thus changing (and possibly speeding up) the maturation process.

Here's the thing, though.  Quarter Casks weren't always used back in the 19th Century.  Why did some whisky makers choose these smaller barrels back in the day?  Well, it depends on who you ask.

Here are the top four reasons why Quarter Casks were used in the 1800s:

1. The small size made it easier for a pair of men to lift the product when it needed to be transported.
2. When whisky was brought to market on a mule, it allowed for two barrels to be strapped to one animal.  One cask on each side.
3. By transporting via one mule, the seller could take smaller paths, avoid the main roads.  Avoiding the main roads meant avoiding the duty officer.  Avoiding the duty officer meant avoiding taxes.
4. The cask size (known as "firkin" for the Old English measurement) was much easier to obtain than larger barrels.

I've seen all of these explanations.  I wouldn't be surprised if the real reasoning behind quarter casks was a mix of all of the above:  logistics, supply chain, economics, and smuggling.

No matter what the truth is and was, I'm glad they brought the cask back.

Distillery: Laphroaig
Bottling: Quarter Cask
Age: 5 to 11 years
Maturation: American Oak ex-bourbon barrels then Quarter Casks (see above)
Region: Islay
Alcohol by Volume: 48%

I bought a 3cL (30mL) sample of this from Master of Malt a few months back.  A couple Fridays ago, I opened it up, poured the dram and let it sit for about 15 minutes.  Tried it neat.  Let it sit for another 20+ minutes.  Tried it neat again, then with water.

NEAT:
The color is light gold with rosy highlights.  It's that rosiness that differentiates it visually from the 10 year.  The salty Atlantic Ocean hits first on the nosing.  Then an excellent merging of sweet & peat.  Some oak and cheap toy plastic linger in the background.  Palate-wise, up front, it's like drinking a meadow: fresh grass and hay drying in the sun.  Then some notebook paper followed by a wet seaweed peat.  And it is HOT, with the 48% ABV flexing its brawn.  But this dram saves its real thrill for the final act.  My finish notes are all stream of consciousness: "Whole wheat bread, whole grains, digestive biscuits (money!), smoky, cigar smoke, nice & warm, phenolic, dry, it's still going..."

WITH WATER, around 30-32% ABV
Hydrating the whisky slightly shifts its pieces all around.  The nose is now peaty, peaty, peaty.  Like Ardbeg 10 with brown sugar.  Toffee with some of that ocean brine.  The texture stays very creamy.  The palate goes from frapuccino to espresso.  Sweet to bitter.  Heavy on the peat smoke.  The straight coffee grounds linger throughout the finish, and the heat has mellowed out.

A terrific dram.  It was one of those that I knew I liked the moment it came out of the bottle.  And then it got better.  It's definitely in the Top Five of the whiskies that I've reported on (at this point in time), easily in my all-time Top Ten.  [Ed. note: as of 2014 these statements are technically no longer true; top 20 in the first case, top 40 in the second.]

It's not an easy drink, but it is less medicinal than the 10 year.  It's complex, but it's not for all seasons.  It's a colder weather whisky, probably suiting an Islay evening very well.  It would be fun to do a Taste Off between this one and Lagavulin 16.  Someday...

Pricing - Great at $55-$60 (if I ever find it at 50, I'm scooping it up)

Rating - 92