Single Malt Report: Auchentoshan Three Wood

Here's the scene:

Exactly one month ago, I meet up with a friend for lunch at The Bowery, a Hollywood restaurant with a very impressive whisky selection -- about two to three dozen single malts.

So I go with the Auchentoshan Three Wood, figuring that it would be reasonably priced.  When the waiter tells how much it was going for, I was surprised.  Doesn't Auchentoshan tend to run a little cheaper?  But with the drink now in my hand, it's too awkward to turn down.

And, well, the pour is irresponsible.  It had to be about 4 ounces.  About 1/6th of a bottle.  Well okay then.  I'll drink it.  Luckily my friend is okay with taking a long lunch.  Like 2 hours.  I have a lengthy drive back to Long Beach that I'd prefer to do soberly.

So, the brandy snifter of whisky is in front of me.  A new issue arises.  Is this whisky?

It's a dark drink.  Really dark.  Like Newcastle dark.  Looks more like a brandy or cognac.  I give it a sip.  Brandy and cognac flavors.

I seriously wonder if this was what I ordered.  The waiter had me repeat "Auchentoshan" a couple of times, which is understandable.  But I decide not to make a weird thing of it and do tasting notes anyway.

Immediately after lunch, I pull up other online reviews of Auchentoshan Three Wood and sure enough, that's what I'd just been drinking.

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Auchentoshan, which sounds roughly Germanic to my ears, is Gaelic for "corner of the field".  The distillery is right outside of Glasgow so, like Glenkinchie, it's a Lowland distillery.  It has a much better website than Glenkinchie, full of videos, pictures, and distillation descriptions.  It proudly flaunts its triple distillation process, though it is not the only "only Triple Distilled Single Malt In Scotland".  As I'd mentioned in the Glenkinchie post, normally Scottish single malts are distilled twice.  The classic Lowland style incorporates a third distillation of whisk(e)y (as usually done in Irish whiskies) which smoothens and lightens the malt texture considerably.

The distillery was founded in 1800 (though there are reports that 1825 was when it opened).  It was fully rebuilt after World War Two, then refurbished and overhauled when Morrison Bowmore bought it in 1984.

Auchentoshan has many official bottlings.  There's the very affordable Classic, which replaced the Select a couple years ago.  There's a 12 year, which replaced the 10 year in 2008.  There's an 18yr, a 21yr, a Bourdeaux-finished 11yr, and a cask-strengthed Valinch.  And then there's this Three Wood...

Distillery: Auchentoshan
Bottling: Triple Wood
Age: minimum 11 1/2 years
Maturation: 10yrs in American Oak, 1yr Oloroso sherry casks, 1/2 yr Pedro Ximenez sherry casks
Region: Lowlands (Western)
Alcohol by Volume: 43%

I'll get straight to the notes:

NEAT:
The color is very very dark brown with a bit of underlying rosiness.  Probably the darkest whisky I have every tried, with Oban's Distillers Edition being a close second.  Such a cognac-ish nose on this.  In fact it smells like cognac tastes.  There's some vanilla from the American Oak.  Rich sherry from......two different sherry casks.  And a squeeze of maple syrup.  The texture is very thick and heavy.  For the taste, here are my notes verbatim: "BIG NUTS, Big Vanilla, Big Amaretto, and a dollop of whip cream."  The finish was short but sweet and creamy.

WITH WATER, DOWN TO 30-32% ABV:
The cognac is gone from the nose.  Maple syrup and nougat is what remains.  The texture actually remains pretty thick through the added water.  The palate is all hazelnuts and almonds and Coca Cola.  The finish is short and quite chocolatey.

It sat very heavy in my stomach like a rich dessert.  While drinking it, I was reminded of a Petit Syrah as it's so dark and bursting with enormous flavors.  But it's the first time since I've started doing tasting notes that I could not find any malt in there at all.  Donde esta mi uisge beatha?

I don't expect every whisky to be peaty and smoky.  I don't expect every sherried whisky to taste like Macallan or Glenfarclas.  The range of flavors and scents derived from new make malt and oak casks is so broad that its exploration has just begun.

But still, this one left me wondering when does a whisky stop being a whisky?  The Three Wood follows the whisky production process; it was distilled in Scotland; it was from a single distillery.  So it is technically a single malt scotch.  But what a strange bulky being it is.

To prove I'm not crazy (Ed.: I'm always trying to prove this, am I not?) here are some notes from the big boys:

Jackson - "...the whisky struggles to assert itself among the woods..."
Valentin - "...frankly, this is a tad bizarre...Not unpleasant even if it’s still sort of a ‘strange mix’..."
Master of Malt - "...a rum-like quality and notes of Bas Armagnac..."

The bottle price since is double that of the Classic bottling, and 30% more than the 12yr.  I'm assuming that's due to the higher quality sherry casks.  Yet, it doesn't fare well when compared to other whiskies in and below its price range (including other malts released by Morrison Bowmore).

Here's a positive spin: If you don't like whisky, you might like this.  If you like brandies, cognacs, and amarettos this might be your thing.  It's probably DELICIOUS in highballs and mixed drinks.  Very desserty.  So as a liqueur it's not bad.  As a whisky, it's odd.

Pricing - $60-$65 - Huh?

Rating - 73

Hangover

FROM:

TO:

What is a hangover?

From the NIH-published Alcohol Hangover: Mechanisms and Mediators by Robert Swift, M.D., Ph.D. and Dena Davidson, Ph.D.:

A hangover is characterized by the constellation of unpleasant physical and mental symptoms that occur after a bout of heavy alcohol drinking. Physical symptoms of a hangover include fatigue, headache, increased sensitivity to light and sound, redness of the eyes, muscle aches, and thirst. Signs of increased sympathetic nervous system activity can accompany a hangover, including increased systolic blood pressure, rapid heartbeat (i.e., tachycardia), tremor, and sweating. Mental symptoms include dizziness; a sense of the room spinning (i.e., vertigo); and possible cognitive and mood disturbances, especially depression, anxiety, and irritability. The particular set of symptoms experienced and their intensity may vary from person to person and from occasion to occasion. In addition, hangover characteristics may depend on the type of alcoholic beverage consumed and the amount a person drinks.

From Wikipedia:

A hangover is the experience of various unpleasant physiological effects following heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages. The most commonly reported characteristics of a hangover include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and noise, lethargy, dysphoria, diarrhea and thirst, typically after the intoxicating effect of the alcohol begins to wear off. While a hangover can be experienced at any time, generally speaking a hangover is experienced the morning after a night of heavy drinking. In addition to the physical symptoms, a hangover may also induce psychological symptoms including heightened feelings of depression and anxiety.

And concisely phrased by the Mayo Clinic:

A hangover is a group of unpleasant signs and symptoms that can develop after drinking too much alcohol.

It can start before the night is over.  It can hammer down in the morning.  It can pin a body down onto the carpet, dizzying the universe.  It can seize one's neuro-receptors and make one weep while listening to syrupy pop music and sitting in traffic.  The more religious-minded of us see it as cosmic punishment for our pleasures.  It feels like failure.

They set up shop in the brain with greater ease the older that brain gets.  I drank irresponsibly for at least three years of undergrad, hangover-less.  Then the morning after graduation, the lead-heavy beast seized me up into its raging grasp and squeezed my brains until nightfall.  But now, after my second glass of red wine the headache sneaks in and nothing is fun anymore.  Yet those red wine aches are mere squeaks compared to the nerve-shredding toxic spills of the morning after a lovely party-night.

Everyone has their own remedies.  To some folks, a good puke does wonders.  Bloody Marys for others.  Or a greasy cheeseburger with a fried egg on top.  I used to go for a long run to sweat it all out......TEN YEARS AGO.

I've actually only had two hangovers since I've been a married man.  One of them was this weekend.  You see, normally, a couple glasses of whisky and I'm set.  But my dearest wife and I decided to check out a local sushi place as well as an Irish pub (both walkable!) and......we had cocktails here at home before it all began.  It was a great night.  It was a terrible morning.

---

Here's a list that I made when I was feeling like a sweating lump of coal with a headache:

Things that are good for a hangover:

Cold Water

Vitamins

Powerade

Quiet early-era Miles Davis (volume low)

Fried potatoes (any kind)

Dominoes Cheesy Bread - OH MAN I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS STUFF

Club Soda

Beer - Just one or you're starting up a whole new problem

Dinner for breakfast, Breakfast for dinner

Football on TV

Sunglasses (indoors)

Curling up on the floor

Antiques Roadshow Marathon

The magical nap - The one where you fall asleep at 11am and wake up at 1pm

Other people's pity

Blogs

Things that are bad for a hangover:

Light

Dark

Sound

Consciousness

Sweat

Gravity

Constipation

Fire Ass

Fire Trucks

Harleys

The bad nap - The one where you fall asleep at 11am & wake up at 11:15am, feverish

Brushing teeth - It hurts, it hurts

Nodding head "Yes"

Shaking head "No"

The smell of day-old spilled liquor

Loud avant-garde Miles Davis

Physical intimacy beyond "Hi."

Weeping

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There really aren't any consistent remedies, though hydration and zinc can go a long way to letting your body repair what you'd just f**ked up.  What you can do is avoid the hangover in the first place.

How to avoid a hangover:
Don't drink
Hydrate between drinks
Pick your poison - None of this beer-then-whisky-then-vodka-then-wine-then-gin-&-tonics
Stay away from mixers - All of their sugars contribute to the impending horrible crash
Don't do shots

Don't get old
Cut your head off

Drinking is a lovely thing.  There's no need to be physically punished for it.  Sexually?  Maybe.  Ere, I digress.  It's about treating yourself right.  Having a glass of great single malt scotch is treating yourself right.  Drinking everything that's wet and within arm's length is not treating yourself right.

Since you're reading this blog, you know that I like a malt beverage from time to time.  So I don't say this lightly:  Drink Responsibly.  Don't punish yourself over a love of the good things.

PLAYOFFS?! Yeah, I'm talkin' about playoffs.

Pic from blackandgold.com, Saints fansite (sorry)

Time for my barely informed NFL playoff pics.  I won't predict scores because that's the first sign of clinical psychosis.

First Round:
Giants over Falcons - The line on this one is Giants (-3). With Manning & Co at home, they can cover that.  But Eli will wait until the 4th Quarter to wake up.
Saints over Lions - Sproles will have 200 all-purpose yards by the end of the first kickoff.
Broncos over Steelers - TEBOW!  All he does is win.  But this time, it's because Big Ben breaks his ankle clean off in the first quarter.  Mr. Win will run for more yards than he'll throw.  I hate myself for this pick.
Texans over Bengals - This one's cheap because the game's already in the 4th quarter.

Second Round:
Packers over Giants - The only thing that would hurt the Packers is too much time off, but I've never bought that about professional teams.  Seriously, Rodgers is not hanging out at State Farm offices in the two week down time.
Saints over 49ers - The best game in this round.  The 'Niners still won't let up a rushing TD, but N.O. will win when the Saints pull an option play and Sproles throws a 98 yard pass......to himself.
Patriots over Broncos - May be the only time I will root for the Pats.  :(
Ravens over Texans - During his pre-game nonsense scream-a-thon, Ray Lewis's head explodes.  He still destroys Arian Foster in every single quarter.

Conference Champs:
Saints over Packers - Best game of the year.  The ground game and defense will give Saints the edge.  I will be rooting for both teams.
Patriots over Ravens - I will be rooting for neither team.

The NFL Bowl:
Saints over Patriots - I don't even think this will be close thanks to the Pats' pass defense issues.  But the commercials will be the big losers of the night when Gandhi hits Abe Lincoln in the crotch with a sledgehammer in the first Miller Douche ad.

Thems my picks.  Now, everyone rush off to Vegas to put your money on the 'Niners.

Single Malt Report: Glenkinchie 12 year old

[I had started a non-whisky post this morning, but it turned into a bunch of whining about television.  I'll save that for another day.  Fridays aren't about whine, they're about whisky.]

For our first actual Single Malt report of the year (Windsor was a blend), I'll start down in the Lowlands.

Map from http://www.hartbrothers.co.uk/

The Highlands are higher up on the map and a mostly rocky, mountainous region.  Meanwhile, the Lowlands are lower on the map and generally a flatter smoother area.  Three Lowland distilleries remain active: Glenkinchie, Auchentoshan, and Bladnoch.  Older malts from the closed Rosebank, Littlemill, Ladyburn (great name!), and Interleven distilleries can be found, but for a significant price.

The bigger distilleries, Auchentoshan and Glenkinchie, are near Scotland's largest cites: Glasgow and Edinburgh, respectively.  Meanwhile, the smaller Bladnoch is the most southern of all of Scottish whisky producers.

More than 95% of Scotch maltings produced outside of the Lowlands are distilled twice.  Most of the Lowland malts are distilled three times, much like Irish whiskies.  This extra distillation, along with the almost total lack of peating, results in the smoothest, lightest, and most accessible of scotches.  This has led to their excessively gender-sensitive nickname, "The Lowland Ladies".

If Ladies they be, then I'm going to report on the 12-year-old Glenkinchie broad.

(Update: While several other distilleries are experimenting with triple distillation, Auchentoshan is the only Lowland distillery that is using that practice consistently.  Triple distillation is the original Lowland style, though there are other distillation techniques, like extra long fermentation times, that can lighten and smoothen a malt.)

The Glenkinchie distillery sits in a glen on land once owned by the de Quincey family.  It was built during the first half of the 19th century, but sustained distillation didn't begin until 1880.  While most of Scotland's distilleries closed during the Second World War, Glenkinchie stayed open, powering out malt for wartime drinkers.  It's been rumored that their malts are in the Johnnie Walker Red and Black Label recipes.  They're currently owned by the Diageo monstrosity, which means that 12 year is well exported and can be found in most decent Scotch shops.

The Glenkinchie malts once included a 10 year -- which the 12yr has replaced -- and a 20 year.  Currently their output includes only the 12yr and a Distillers Edition (about 14 years old with an Amontillado finish).  All of their malts are triple-distilled in the aforementioned classic Lowland fashion.

That old 20yr malt is on my Whisky Wish List.  It was bottled at cask strength (over 58% ABV) and spent ten years in a brandy cask.  I don't even have a point of reference for what that smells and tastes like.  Someday...

But, yes, presently let's get in on that Twelve year.

Distillery: Glenkinchie
Age: minimum 12 years
Maturation: Bourbon casks(?)
Region: Lowlands (Eastern)
Alcohol by Volume: 43%

I have yet to purchase that lovely bottle shown above.  Instead, I bought a dram of it from Master of Malt.  I doubt if it's finished in anything but Bourbon barrels since Diageo makes no mention of anything specific, nor does it have any signs of sherry.

Curiously, Diageo recommends that this malt be kept in the freezer.  I say "Curiously" because any heavy chilling of this whisky could cause its feather-light flavor to float away.  I sampled it neat and with water, per my usual routine.

NEAT:
The color is mellow gold, a bit darker than an oaky chardonnay.  The nose is floral and lightly fruity:  Applesauce, Kosher white wine, cereal, white bread, apple juice.  The palate is soft, quiet, creamy, with some tapioca pudding(?), and a little oaked towards the end.  Very light in texture.  The finish lingers longer than one expects from such a light structure.  It drifts along perfumy and polite.

WITH WATER:
No clouding, so though they likely kept the caramel coloring to a minimum, they probably chill-filtered it.  Though the real way to prove that is to stick it in the freezer, as suggested by the distributor.  The apples are gone from the nose.  It remains fresh, bright, and clean.  Maybe a little bit of yeast.  The palate has gotten softer.  It's flowery with cream and sugar.  The finish has vanished aside from some dryness.

My final notes read "such a quiet polite whisky".  I'd venture to say that it's even lighter than the average Irish whiskey.  I would love to do a blind taste test sometime between this and Tullamore Dew.  That would be a fine night.

As for the grading/ranking, this one comes close to the Hazelburn 8yr which also got the 3x distillation treatment.  The Hazelburn is more complex, while this Glenkinchie has more flowers and apples.  This one is cheaper and much easier to find in the stores.

Pricing - $50-$55 isn't unreasonable, but still a little steep.

Rating - 81

Whiskey Ranking update

I've just added a new item in the "Pages" section to the right of the blog entries:

WHISK(E)Y RANKINGS!

I've also updated the Whisky Notes section.

As I've stated on the Rankings page, assigning a grade to a complex liquid is a silly act.  Publicly ranking such liquids is narcissistic, obnoxious, and fun.

Enjoy!

My Year in Whisky (2011)

Most of the major whisky blogs posted their whisky-year-in-review entries last week.  I enjoyed them thoroughly, as I am fully addicted to booze blogs.  These guys (and they are all guys so far) do an admirable job reporting back on their samples of 300 to 1000 whiskies, aged 3 to 60 years, and priced up to $30,000 a bottle.

But if you're looking for the Port Ellens and Broras, Vintage Springbanks, 50yr Dalmores, or Black Bowmores, this isn't the place.  There are a couple dozen sites online that'll give you quality rundowns on those.

The Single Malt Report is different.  I don't have the means to sample such quantity and quality.  Nor do my readers.  I like to sample the accessible stuff, with the occasional wild card thrown in for fun.  (Note: Though, if I'm so blessed to try any of those patrician drams, I promise to report back immediately!)

The most important whisky lesson that I learned last year was that bottle age is a marketing tool.  Just because a spirit has sat in a barrel for 25 years, doesn't necessarily mean that it's better than a different spirit that's been casked for 10 years.  That 25-year-old IS more expensive to produce and is more of a risk for the distiller, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it'll be a better whisky.

There are infinite levels of chemical reactions going on inside those barrels, between the wood and the barley spirit.  The longer they mingle, the more things can go wrong or right.  Some old whiskies mellow out nicely.  Some gain levels of complexity.  Some get over-oaked.  Some lose so much of their youthful energy that they turn to into a sleepy dram.  Some go rotten.  All are expensive due to this investment and risk.

But for some palates, Youth rules.  Ardbeg 10yr, Laphroaig 10yr, Springbank 10yr, Bowmore Tempest are tremendous whiskies that most of their older brothers can't top.  That shorter time period has proven to be an excellent window of time for those specific spirits and woods to interact.

Macallan 18yr is very good but is it three times better than Macallan 12yr?  That's what the price says.  Is Johnnie Walker Blue Label worth two-and-a-half bottles of Gold Label?  Would you trade three bottles of Black Label for Glenlivet 18yr?

My answer to all of those questions is "No".  Your answers may differ.  It's all about full palates and empty pockets.

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Single Malt Report 2011 Lists
(Note: These are not All Time rankings, just recaps from this year's Reports) 

Best Whisk(e)y:
Redbreast 12yr Single Pot Still Irish Whiskey
I've heard a rumor from a reliable source that the Midleton Distillery will release the cask strength (57.7% ABV) Redbreast bottling in the US some time this year.  That will be the greatest thing in the history of the universe.  (Okay, that was hyperbole.  But if I get a free bottle...)

Best Scotch Whisky:
Bowmore 16yr 1994/2011 Signatory
Yes, I know this one is tough to find.  But this whisky created a major palate shift for me.  (In fact, all three of my top Scotches were considerably peated.)  This Bowmore awakened my senses to the fact that peated whiskies are more than just peat reek; the good ones have layer upon layer of complexity.  Also, this bottle was the result of a blind purchase from a spectacular whisky shop during a lovely trip to the UK.

Worst Whisk(e)y:
Bowmore 7 year old 2002/2009 Murray McDavid
This somehow became the year of Bowmore.  Not only did they get the Best and Worst, but their whiskies made up more than 20% of my reports.  In any case, these Best and Worst bottlings illustrate the tightrope that independent bottlers walk as they purchase, age, and finish casks.  The gulf between those two whiskies are wide though the barley spirit came from the same place.

Ratings adjustments
--That Ardbeg 10yr is very close to climbing from 3.5 to 4.0 stars, as I've been thoroughly enjoying a bottle of this sooty heater.
--I'm scootching the Glenmorangie Nectar D'Or and the Benriach 16yr Sauternes Finish back down to their original ratings.  I've had them both since the Taste Off, and the slight downgrade is appropriate.
--I also made an edit to yesterday's Windsor Canadian entry.  On hindsight, I'd gotten too excited about the Nilla Wafers.  The lack of balance between the nose and palate isn't the sign of a 3 star whisky.

Whisky mishaps
The East Coast trip went a little askew, whisky-wise.  After overdoing it with the booze and the smoke during the NY drinking experience, all the whisky left me and I was unable to report back.  Also, my "very exciting whisky situation" did not come to fruition, though there's still a chance that it'll come to pass in 2012.

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Finally, I'm setting some new purchase rules for 2012.  I overdid it a bit in 2011.  $50 is my limit for a bottle or mini/sample purchase.  That limit does not include purchases made with windfall money or gift cards.  Happily, this does not alter The Single Malt Report.  I have a dozen reports in the queue, and dozens of additional drams still to report on.

I have also purchased four bottlings that some would view as collector's items or investments.  I say here, after reading volumes about the punishing and unfair world of whisky investments, my bottles are not for sale.  They're for drinking when celebration is called for.

May 2012 be full of celebration for all!

NOT Single Malt Report: Windsor Canadian Whisky

How I have mock'd thee,
Thou plastic-bottled whiskey.
For that, I'm sorry.

(Source)

My in-laws make a pilgrimage to their homeland of Ohio every December 26th.  I have joined them on this excursion for three out of the last four years.  Westerville, outside of Columbus, marks the first stop.  At the second stop, North Canton, Grandpa Bob Perry always has a bottle of Canadian whisky on the liquor cart, without fail.

Seven & Seven is his drink.  Classically it's a mix of Seagrams 7 and 7-Up.  But presently that can encompass any Canadian whisky and ginger ale.

(Source)

Often I spy his Canadian Club (6yrs) and splash some on the rocks while everyone else enjoys their gin & tonics, wine, and American beer.  Upon this year's arrival though I found two big plastic handles (1.75L) of Windsor Canadian.  Mr. Perry offered it up and I accepted.  Tried it neat, on the rocks, with club soda, and with ginger ale.

Windsor is distributed by Fortune Brands, which is aligned with Beam Inc.  It has ZERO online presence.  One Windsor fan created a Facebook page...and that's about it.  Here's a marketing blurb that I found:

A connoisseur's whisky of incomparable quality. A supremely smooth whisky made with waters born in the clean, clean Canadian Rockies. Blended and distilled under strict supervision of the Canadian Government. Supremely smooth. Made with only premium Western Canadian grains and glacial born waters.

Now let's get to some clean, clean reporting:

Producer: Fortune Brands, with Beam Inc.
Brand: Windsor Canadian
Region: Alberta, Canada
Age: minimum 3 years
Blend: corn, barley, and grain whiskies
Alcohol by Volume: 40%

I'll start off by saying that Windsor + ginger ale is scrumptious.  Windsor 'n Ginger.  Dessert in a glass.  Like sugary pastries.  Must have something to do with the mingling of corn whisky and corn syrup.  A Windsor highball (club soda & ice) is very smooth and inoffensive.  But on the final night in North Canton, I did a proper tasting.

NEAT:
The color is very light, like a chardonnay with a little bit of amber.  The nose is surprisingly punishing: varnish, rotten cream, nail polish, old sweat, more nail polish.  It's like sniffing Prohibition-era smuggled Canadian moonshine.  Then a sip to try the palate...

Mmmm.  Ladyfingers (the cookies, not the digits).  Moist angel cake, cinnamon, vanilla custard.  And something else.  I can't put my manfinger (sorry, that sounds wrong) on it.  Another taste.

Nillas!  This tastes like Nillas!  Suddenly, I have Nilla Wafers on the mind.  Even the finish notes say, "Brief w/ more Nillas!"

WITH WATER:
It doesn't cloud (chill-filtering!), but does look oily.  The nose shifts a little, sideways.  Weird sweet old cream, reminiscent of bad Scotch noses.  Very sweet wine.  The palate = soggy Nillas.  The finish still brief and Nilla'ed, but a little bitter at the end.

I'm really glad that I had a chance to try this.  Thank you, Grandpa Bob Perry!

Now how do I rate this?  The palate is much better than the nose.  I'll give the palate a little more weight since it mixes pretty well.

Pricing - 750mL = less than $10; 1.75L = $13-$16; Bargain! (and also, Nillas!)

Rating - 74